Squiz Today / 05 May 2023

Squiz Today – Friday, 5 May

%%=Format(@localdatetime, “dddd, d MMMM yyyy”)=%%

Squiz Today Podcast

Rock n’ rollin’ you into the weekend.

Today’s listen time: 9.20 minutes

10 / 22
9 / 18
14 / 25
11 / 18
11 / 24
6 / 18
24 / 33
0 / 15

Squiz Sayings

“It looks like I’m not going to have to retire from my day job after all.”

Said Ed Sheeran who has won his latest legal battle against accusations he ripped off a popular Marvin Gaye song. While giving evidence this week, Sheeran said he would quit the music game if he lost – and fans were worried he wasn’t just Thinking Out Loud… 

Polish up your crown jewels…


And put the oven on for your coronation quiche… Tomorrow night our time, Australia’s head of state King Charles III and Queen Consort Camilla will be crowned in the first coronation service in the UK in 70 years. There have been a few royal weddings in our time, and, of course, there have been 2 recent high profile funerals with the deaths of Queen Elizabeth II last year and Prince Philip in 2021. But a coronation is as familiar so let’s get you across what’s going down and what is means. 


The best complete guide to the day we’ve seen has been produced by the BBC is here, so go nuts. Our Squiz Shortcut will be in your inbox later today to with some more deets, or you can jump into the podcast. But at a glance: 

  • Charles and Camilla will be taken from Buckingham Palace to Westminster Abbey in the Diamond Jubilee State Coach, which was made in Sydney. The older/uncomfortable Gold State Coach will be their transportation back. Along they way, they’ll be led by Wilbur the wonder horse
  • The coronation itself is a state occasion (and therefore funded by taxpayers), but the service is a religious one. There are several stages to this shindig, so settle in – it will take more than 1.5 hours. And if you want to get involved, here’s the oath.
  • And if bling’s your thing, this royal occasion is for you. The Crown Jewels will be put to use, including the solid gold St Edward’s Crown that is placed on the noggin of the monarch at the moment of coronation – and it’s the only time Charles will ever wear it. 


Yeah. So Charles is the oldest monarch to be crowned in British history. His sister Princess Anne – who has a big rolechipped him earlier this week saying “he’s been practicing for a bit”… A little bit excited about tomorrow are the people of Tanna, a village in Vanuatu. They were famously devoted to Prince Philip, and now they’re fully behind King Charles. “And shoutout to the English taxpayers for making it happen because it sounds expensive,” said one resident (like about $190 million expensive…). Not excited is Māori artist Hāmiora Bailey who has created a web browser plugin that replaces all monarchy and coronation stories with Indigenous news. “Across the globe, Indigenous folk are tired of [this] rhetoric around frivolity and class,” he said. And look at us go – we got through all that without once mentioning Prince Harry. Oops… 

World News

Squiz the Rest

Retaliation in Ukraine

Yesterday we talked about the two drone explosions near the Kremlin in Russia’s capital – an attack that Russia was quick to point out gave it “the right to take retaliatory measures where and when it sees fit”. Since then, explosions have been reported in the Ukrainian cities of Kyiv, Zaporizhzhia, and Odesa. It’s still unclear who launched the Kremlin drone attack, but overnight Russia has claimed it was the US that was the mastermind behind it – US National Security spokesman John Kirby called the accusation a “ludicrous claim”. Meanwhile, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenksy is currently on a surprise tour around Europe, and reports continue to flag that the long-awaited Ukrainian counteroffensive is imminent. We also heard this week new estimates from US intelligence that Russia has suffered 100,000 casualties in the last 5 months of the war, including 20,000 dead. Whatever is about to happen in the war, analysts say it will continue to be ugly…

World News

Counting the cost of paying aged care workers

The rise in aged care workers’ pay is going to cost $11.3 billion when the pay raise comes into effect in July. We’ve known this pay raise was coming since last November when the Fair Work Commission ruled the 250,000 workers in the sector should get a 15% pay rise – a ruling that was advocated for by the Albanese Government. The July increase will mean that some aged care workers get a boost of $10,000 per year, which Aged Care Minister Anika Wells called a “historic and deserved pay rise for a workforce undervalued for far too long”. The hope is the bump will attract 10,000 new workers into the sector. And in the latest pre-Budget information drop, reports this morning say there will be more funding for our Pacific neighbours for more environmental, military, and economic support. The ABC says the package will total “hundreds of millions of dollars, and likely to top $1 billion, over the next 4 years.”

AusPol Australian News Health

The ‘beginning of the end’ of Alzheimer’s

That’s what researchers are cautiously heralding after trial results showed a new drug could slow cognitive decline by more than a 3rd. According to US drugmaker Eli Lilly, out of the 1,734 early-stage Alzheimer’s patients who took part in the trial, donanemab slowed the condition’s progress by 35% compared with those who were given a placebo. It’s the 2nd drug to succeed in trials after lecanemab was proven to work last year. Both drugs work to clear out proteins that build up in the brain that are thought to cause Alzheimer’s, which is the most common form of dementia. But researchers warn donanemab still poses some risks, with up to a 3rd of patients experiencing mild brain swelling and 3 dying from severe side effects. Eli Lilly said it would start the approval process with America’s Food and Drug Administration next month, followed by regulators in other countries.


Jenny Craig trims the fat

Weight loss giant Jenny Craig says its independent Aussie and Kiwi operations will continue to operate as its American parent company looks to set to file for bankruptcy. Jenny Craig was founded in Melbourne in 1983 and quickly became a household name, opening up 600 centres around the world and recruiting celebrities including Kirstie Alley as brand ambassadors. Reports say the company’s US arm is US$250 million ($374 million) in debt and has been seeking a buyer in recent months. The business has struggled to compete against popular new weight-loss drugs like Ozempic as well as online weight-loss programs, which has seen the company consider a move to an online model. A leaked staff email yesterday revealed Jenny Craig was shutting down its US operations “due to its inability to secure additional financing”, affecting about 1,000 employees. 

Business & Finance Health

Rockin’, rollin’ and rappin’ into the Hall of Fame

Missy Elliot has become the first female hip-hop artist to be inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame as its 2023 inductees were announced yesterday. It was the first year the Grammy Award-winning artist was eligible for the honour, with her 1997 debut album Supa Dupa Fly celebrating its 25th birthday last year. She tweeted that she “cried all morning” after receiving the news, saying “this door is now OPEN to showcase the hard work & what many of us contribute to MUSIC”. For those confused by the crossover of musical genres, the foundation behind the Hall of Fame has honoured a wide range of artists in recent years, including rappers Tupac Shakur and Eminem. And then there was the battle to honour Dolly Parton… Also receiving the honour are stars including George Michael, Willie Nelson and Kate Bush. They’re all set to be formally inducted in a ceremony on 3 November. 


Friday Lites – Three things we liked this week

UK retailers are reporting soaring sales of coronation-themed merchandise ahead of tomorrow’s big event, and it isn’t a new phenomenon… This article dives into the centuries-old tradition and why commemorative mugs and plates are still among the most popular purchases today. 

Whether you’re hosting a coronation party or just want to pop some tunes on over the weekend, the official Coronation Celebration playlist has you sorted. It’s full of hits from mostly British music legends including The Beatles, Harry Styles and the Spice Girls. 

And we already know about the Coronation Quiche but if that’s not your vibe, there are 3 other official coronation recipes to choose from. We’re leaning towards the eggplant/yoghurt recipe

Friday Lites

Squiz the Day

11.00am (AEST) – State funeral for Father Bob Maguire – St Patrick’s Cathedral, Melbourne

12.00pm (AEST) – Archibald, Wynne and Sulman Prizes 2023 winners announced

6.00pm (AEST) – NRL Magic Round Opener – Bulldogs v Raiders – Brisbane

ABS Data Release – Lending Indicators, March

Company Results – ANZ, Macquarie Group

International Day of the Midwife

World Hand Hygiene Day

Celebration of Cinco de Mayo

Liberation Day in the Netherlands to remember 1945’s end to the Nazi Occupation

Ed Sheeran’s latest album ‘-‘ released

A birthday for Adele (1988)

Anniversary of:
• the birthday of Karl Marx (1818)
• the death of Napoléon Bonaparte (1821)
• Carnegie Hall opening in New York with Tchaikovsky as guest conductor (1891)
• Perfume Chanel No 5 released by fashion designer Coco Chanel (1921)

Squiz the Day

The Squiz Archive

Want to check out Squiz Today from the archive?

Get the Squiz Today newsletter

It's a quick read and doesn't take itself too seriously. Get on it.