Squiz Today – Tuesday, 26 July

THE SQUIZ

Greeting Labor MPs as they assembled in Canberra ahead of the opening of the 47th Parliament today, PM Anthony Albanese has urged his team to “cherish each and every day” in government and to get ready to be busy. “We often came to the parliament without much to do in terms of an agenda before the parliament. This Labor Government will not be like that, and we will hit the ground running.” He also talked up his “significant platform”, which will be outlined today in a speech by Governor-General David Hurley. 

WHAT MAKES UP THIS ‘SIGNIFICANT PLATFORM’?

Albanese says he’s good to go with 18+ new pieces of legislation. That includes Labor’s commitment to cut emissions by 43% by 2030 – a promise that doesn’t require legislation. There some wheeling and dealing with the Greens being done on that as we speak… There are also bills to dismantle the construction industry watchdog, bring in domestic violence leave, address issues in aged care, and expand child care support. And by the end of the year, Albanese says there will be legislation to create a federal integrity commission. Coalition leader Peter Dutton also rallied his troops, sans former PM Scott Morrison…

WHAT ELSE IS ON THE GOVERNMENT’S MIND?

COVID. The number of people hospitalised for COVID yesterday topped the previous peak set in early-January. There are currently 5,439 people in hospital across Oz – that’s come on top of another wave of cases in aged care homes. Support from the Defence Force has been extended – Deputy PM Richard Marles says it’s “not a long-term solution … but at this moment, it’s really important that we do everything we can to provide all the assistance necessary.” Up to 15% of aged care staff have COVID and are currently isolating, and that’s led to big problems with delivering quality care to residents. And if you’re up for another not so fun fact: 95% of COVID cases recorded in Australia are from this year. Yikes…

Capital punishment restarts in Myanmar

Myanmar’s ruling military junta has executed 4 democracy activists, including Phyo Zeya Thaw, a former hip-hop star turned MP from civilian leader Aung San Suu Kyi’s party with close ties to Australia. The group was sentenced to death in closed trials in January over charges of conspiring to commit “terror acts”. The executions are Myanmar’s first use of capital punishment since 1988. Since the military seized power in February 2021, it has quashed dissent and arrested an estimated 14,847 people, according to a prisoners advocacy group. More than 2,000 protesters and civilians have been killed by the military since they took power. Suu Kyi is under house arrest and has been sentenced to 11 years in jail for corruption, with more charges to be heard. The military claim the Nobel laureate fraudulently won 2020’s election, and a trial on that is ongoing. There is an election due next year – Suu Kyi’s party is not expected to be allowed to run. 

The Pope’s ‘trip of penance’

Pope Francis is in Canada and has apologised for the historical abuse of indigenous children at church-run residential schools, calling the system a “disastrous error” and asking for forgiveness “for the evil committed by so many Christians”. PM Justin Trudeau and Governor General Mary Simon (an indigenous woman) were there for the apology. More than 150,000 Indigenous children were separated from their families and brought to the schools between 1881 and 1996 where many experienced horrific abuses. In the last couple of years, more than 1,300 unmarked graves have been discovered at several schools. After apologising on behalf of the Catholic Church earlier this year, the Pope is undertaking a 5-day “trip of penance”. It’s unclear if he will swing by Ukraine and Russia after indicating earlier this month he hoped to visit after his Canada trip.

Delays spell disaster at Sydney airport

It might not come as a surprise to those who have flown in or out of Sydney in recent times, but the city’s airport has ranked among the worst in the world for flight cancellations and delays, new data has found. FlightAware says Sydney Airport’s 5.9% cancellation rate makes it the 6th-worst behind airports in Shenzhen, New Jersey, New York, Toronto, and Jakarta. And it’s 9th-worst for delays, with 34.2% of flights affected. The airport says recent extreme weather events, staff shortages, airline issues and school holidays are behind the long queues that many people have experienced. And yesterday, travellers were greeted by this scene after a technical issue meant the airport was down a security lane. Things are not necessarily on the way up as frustrated baggage handling and ground crew operators around the country threaten to strike over a pay dispute. At least Flight Centre shareholders received some good news…

Talk to me, baby

Many of us are guilty of talking to babies as if they were, umm, babies… But in the largest global study of its kind, researchers found baby talk is a universal phenomenon. More than 40 scientists helped to collect and analyse 1,615 voice recordings from 410 parents on 6 continents in 18 languages from communities ranging from hunter-gatherers in Tanzania to Beijing urbanites. The results showed that parents engaged in baby talk – or ‘parentese’ to use the more technical term – in all of the cultures analysed. Despite the language differences, kid-chat sounds remarkably similar among cultures, with parents using a high-pitched, sing-songy voice that differed from the way they communicate with someone who can hold their own heads up. Scientists have long argued that baby talk has important developmental and evolutionary functions – how that works between adult partners is still to be adequately derided…

Farewelling our Neighbours

All good things must come to an end – as must all soapies… The final episode of Aussie TV staple Neighbours airs this week, and as a tribute to the show that launched many notable screen and music careers, some big names are back for one last stroll down Ramsey St. Hollywood stars Margot Robbie, Guy Pearce and Jesse Spencer will be there, along with OGs Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan, and pop star Delta Goodrem. And there’s a lot more to pack in before they say a last goodbye – last night featured Nat Bassingthwaighte, Peter O’Brien and Olympia Valance. Tonight there’s the beloved Ian Smith (aka Harold Bishop), and tomorrow night watch out for Daniel MacPherson. How are they doing it? Toadie (who has been played by Ryan Moloney for 28 years…) is getting married, and former residents are swinging by to wish him well. If that’s right down your suburban cul-de-sac, here’s a quiz to test yo’self. The 8,903rd (and final) episode of Neighbours is on Thursday night on Ten at 7.30pm.

German Chancellor Olaf Scholz has received a dressing down after sensitive documents marked ‘confidential’ were found strewn outside his home after foxes got into his bins. Unlike the papers, he’s been shredded in the press. 

Victoria Beckham has been captured singing karaoke to one of her former group’s greatest hits, Stop. Although just like in the 90s, it’s hard to hear her sing…

And a British man is suing the operator of a Christmas market for $350,000, claiming a salmonella-infected ham roll he bought from a stall in 2017 has left him unable to stop farting. We’re not sure if that one’s a new high or low for us, but there it is.

10.30am (AEST) – The 46th Federal Parliament officially opens – Canberra

ABS Data Release – Agricultural Commodities, 2020-21 financial year; Regional population, 2021

Company Results – Boeing; Ford Motor; McDonald’s; General Motors; Paypal; Meta (Facebook); Pfizer; Spotify

Independence Day in Liberia

International Day for the Conservation of Mangroves

Birthdays for former PM John Howard (1939), rocker Mick Jagger (1943), actors Helen Mirren (1945), Kevin Spacey (1959), and Sandra Bullock (1964), Kiwi PM Jacinda Ardern (1980), and rapper Stormzy (1993)

Anniversary of:
• the birthdays of psychoanalyst Carl Jung (1875), author Aldous Huxley (1894) and director Stanley Kubrick (1928)
• the capital of New Zealand moving from Auckland to Wellington (1865)
• the formation of the US Office of the Chief Examiner (later renamed to the Federal Bureau of Investigation) (1908)
• US President Harry S Truman signing the National Security Act which establishes the Central Intelligence Agency (1947)