Squiz Today – Friday, 12 October

SQUIZ SAYINGS

“Our friends and family think we’re idiots…”

Said Gina Lyons, a newlywed who went on her honeymoon to Sri Lanka, got a bit tipsy with her husband and bought the hotel where they were staying. As you do.

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GOING TO THE CHAPEL

THE SQUIZ
It’s been a solid news week with predictions of climate change carnage, allegedly murderous regimes, gender politics, family violence… we could go on. So without apology, we’re getting on today’s royal wedding train for some relief. All aboard…

THERE’S A ROYAL WEDDING TODAY?
Yep. Princess Eugenie of York, the 28yo daughter of Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson, Duke and Duchess of York, and granddaughter of Queen Elizabeth, is marrying 32yo Jack Brooksbank. They met in 2010 while skiing in Verbier, Switzerland, and he says it was “love at first sight”. Prince Andrew and Her Royal Fergieness say they are thrilled to welcome Brooksbank to the family.

MAKE THIS WORTH MY WHILE…
How about some talking points you can’t go wrong with?

• Both have day jobs. She works as an art gallery director. And he is a hospitality worker and UK brand ambassador for Casamigos tequila, the brand developed by George Clooney (Mr Amal Clooney), Rande Gerber (Mr Cindy Crawford) and Mike Meldrum (a guy with friends in high places).

• The couple is related – distantly. They are third cousins once removed.

• The wedding will be plastic-free, a cause Eugenie is committed to.

• The guest list of 850 is celebrity-heavy. Let’s hope Eugenie’s sister Beatrice keeps the swords away from singer Ed Sheeran…

• And you’ve probably been mispronouncing Eugenie’s name. It's YOO-juh-nee.

Seven/7TWO are broadcasting the wedding live from 7pm (AEDT) tonight.

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SQUIZ THE REST

COSTELLO DOESN’T HOLD BACK
With PM Scott Morrison out and about selling his decision to bring forward tax cuts for small business, former treasurer Peter Costello yesterday delivered a scathing assessment. He’s doesn’t think the current crop know what they want and he’s been waiting to hear their “economic narrative”. It’s been a criticism of politicians past that the mob in charge these days haven’t done a good job of articulating ’the vision thing’. And Costello said the new trend of governments announcing policies that don’t take effect for a decade is “very, very weird”. Morrison said he thinks the government has been clear about what it’s trying to achieve.

And while we have you… Federal Police yesterday searched the offices of the Department of Home Affairs over leaks concerning Peter Dutton’s intervention in the case of two foreign au pairs.

QUICK NATURAL DISASTER NEWS WRAP
MICHAEL A BIG’UN – The hurricane has been downgraded to a tropical storm and is carving a path from Florida, through Georgia and northeast back towards the coast. At least two people have died, buildings have been turned to rubble and hundreds-of-thousands have been left without power. Michael is the strongest storm to hit the US in 50 years.

QUEENSLAND TORNADO WARNING – Closer to home, a super-storm with massive hailstones hit southeast Queensland yesterday. Birds were struck out of trees, buildings were damaged, and car windscreens were broken in weather described as a ‘hailnado’.

ANOTHER QUAKE - Three people have died in a 6.0 magnitude earthquake that struck off the Java coast of Indonesia yesterday morning. Tremors were felt in Bali where lots of dignitaries have assembled for world banking and finance talks. A couple of hours later it was Papua New Guinea’s turn with a 7.0-magnitude quake. No major damage has been recorded so far.

LEGITIMISING THOUGHT TRANSFORMATION
China’s Xinjiang region has moved to legalise the “vocational training centres” critics say are detention camps for Uighur Muslims. China has come under attack from human rights campaigners who claim a million Uighurs are being subjected to torture and indoctrination to force them to become loyal to the ruling communist regime. China rejects the claims and says it is re-educating and resettling the ethnic minority.

TOUGH DAY FOR MARKETS
Following a 3.3% fall in the US on Wednesday (its worst day for eight months), Australian shares also took a hit with $50 billion being shed from the value of our listed companies. Why? International jitters surfaced about the US/China trade war and concerns about rising interest rates, particularly after US President Donald Trump said their central bank “has gone crazy”. The turbulence continued on Wall Street overnight.

BANK ON A SHELLACKING
It’s that time of year again. No, not hayfever season, although irritation levels are similarly high. It's the time when the bosses of the big banks front up to a parliamentary committee to talk about the goals they've kicked for their customers and the economy during the year. Or, on this occasion, how they're sorry and have some work to do to rebuild trust. Yesterday, that script went to CommBank’s Matt Comyn and Westpac's Brian Hartzer. Today is ANZ’s Shayne Elliott turn and National Australia Bank’s Andrew Thorburn is up next week.

FRIDAY LITES – THREE THINGS WE LIKED THIS WEEK
Given the royal tone today, here’s a video Claire Foy of The Crown fame about changing her image.

Dating without texting – a dangerous and exciting tale.

Let’s go fantasy interiors shopping. And what better place to start than the shortlist for the 2018 Rigg Design Prize? The winner was announced yesterday (hmm not sure…), and the top finishers are now exhibiting at the National Gallery of Victoria.

SQUIZ THE DAY

Friday
7.00pm (AEDT) - Marriage of Princess Eugenie to Jack Brooksbank - St George's Chapel, Windsor Castle

ABS Data Release - Housing Finance, August

Spain's National Day

Hugh Jackman’s birthday (1968)

World Egg Day

Saturday
4.15pm (AEDT) - The Everest Race - Sydney

International Day for Disaster Reduction

No Bra Day (suits us)

Sunday
2.00pm (AEDT) - Constellation Cup Netball - Aussie Diamonds v New Zealand Silver Ferns

World Standards Day (which sadly does not mark the achievements of singletons)

Anniversary of the premiere of Keeping Up with the Kardashians (2007)

Anniversary of the deaths of Antarctic explorer Douglas Mawson (1958), actor Errol Flynn (1959) and crooner Bing Crosby (1977)