Squiz Today – Monday, 12 March

SQUIZ SAYINGS

"A crumb-resistant keyboard” 

Apple’s filed the patent. That means you could eat every meal at your desk without fear of hurting the computer. How wonderful.

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NO STRINGS ATTACHED TO TRUMP’S TARIFF DEAL

THE SQUIZ
Australia is not negotiating a new security agreement with America in exchange for an exemption to US President Donald Trump’s new steel and aluminium tariffs, according to Turnbull Government ministers. The clarification follows Trump’s Saturday tweet; “Working very quickly on a security agreement so we don’t have to impose steel or aluminium tariffs on our ally, the great nation of Australia!”

SO THERE’S NO TRADE-OFF?
Apparently not. Foreign Minister Julie Bishop yesterday said the exemption was “based on what they call national security grounds ... The United States was not asking anything in return." And Trade Minister Steve Ciobo said we’re not obliged to give the US anything, including joining it for ‘freedom of navigation’ exercises in the South China Sea.

WE DON’T EVEN HAVE TO CHEER ON TRUMP’S NORTH KOREAN BREAKTHROUGH?
Not by the sound of it. PM Turnbull “cautiously” welcomed the news that Trump will become the first serving President to meet his North Korean counterpart when he and Kim Jong Un get together in coming weeks. “There have been many false dawns before. The critical thing is to maintain that economic pressure,” Turnbull said. Some say Trump’s being played by the North Korean leader. Others say he’s in a unique position. But Trump says if North Korea agrees to abandon their nuclear program, it will be the “greatest deal for the world”. That remains a big if...

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SQUIZ THE REST

KIDS RESCUED FROM QUEENSLAND FLOODS
After a drenching week, the area between Townsville and Cairns has been declared a disaster zone. Ingham has been worst affected with 90% of homes impacted by floodwater. The 70 Year Six kids and eight adults from Willows Primary School in Townsville who were trapped for a week at the Echo Creek Adventure Camp (south of Tully) were evacuated yesterday. Local farmers transported them through backroads to the local airport. Hope someone packed a deck of UNO…

CHINA SAYS YES TO A LIFETIME OF XI
China’s National People’s Congress has delivered a resounding ‘yes’ to constitutional changes that will allow President Xi Jinping to rule indefinitely. Of the +2,900 votes cast, just two voted against the change. That’s the definition of brave right there.

RUSSIA TESTS NEW HYPERSONIC MISSILE
President Vladimir Putin said Russia’s new nuclear missile was the “ideal weapon”. Putin was also interviewed by America’s NBC and said he "couldn't care less" if Russian citizens tried to interfere in the 2016 American presidential election because they weren't connected to the Russian government. Voting in Russia’s presidential election starts next Sunday.

SYRIAN TROUBLES CONTINUE
Syrian forces have retaken about half of rebel-held eastern Ghouta. Reports say more than 1,000 civilians have died in the three weeks of fighting. And Turkish troops have made it to the outskirts of Afrin. Turkish President Tayyip Erdogan has vowed to drive Kurdish fighters from the length of the Syrian border.

MARKLE PICKS AN AUSSIE FROCK?
Shut the front door! The reliable gossip (ahem) is that Meghan Markle has chosen an Australian designer wedding dress for her upcoming nuptials to Prince Harry. Aussie designers Ralph and Russo already had bragging rights over the frock Markle wore in the official engagement pics. London-based duo Michael Russo and Tamara Ralph already have a tonne of celeb clients. They even designed a favourite Beyonce costume from her Mrs Carter tour. It's not weird to spend your downtime ranking Beyonce's costumes, is it?

OLD DOGS GET A NEW START
If this doesn’t give you all the feels, nothing will. Police in Tasmania found two ageing pups (a mother and daughter) guarding the body of their master two weeks after he had passed away on his remote property. Then came the task of rehoming them, which one dedicated vet was able to do. The look on their faces is everything. Don’t we all deserve a second chance?

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SQUIZ EXTRAS

WITH THE FABLE

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SQUIZ THE DAY

Public Holidays - Labour Day (Victoria); Canberra Day (ACT); March public holiday (you can come up with a better name than that, South Australia...); Eight Hours Day (Tasmania)

Brain Awareness Week

Multiple Birth Awareness Week

World Glaucoma Week

Anniversary of the Japanese Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant disaster (2011)

We've drawn last week's winner of the $100 gift card to use at Freedom. One luck Squizer has a nice surprise in their inbox. This week it's a $100 Gourmet Traveller Restaurant gift card. Nom nom nom...