Squiz Today – Monday, 29 May

CORBY COMES HOME

THE SQUIZ
Sorry to grumble first thing on a Monday morning, but we’re not entirely stoked about this either. However, the fact is Schapelle Corby’s return to Oz is a big story ATM, so we’ll give you the facts Squiz-style and then we’ll all move on. Deal? Good. The convicted drug smuggler left Bali and flew into Brisbane early yesterday morning. And she hasn’t been spotted since which has caused the media to have a bit of a meltdown.

DID SHE HAVE A NICE FLIGHT?
By all accounts she did, thank you for asking. It seems Team Corby have learned a thing or two about logistics and media management over the last 13 years - security expert John McLeod is credited with orchestrating her successful trip home. Trickery was involved - Corby and sister Mercedes were booked on a Virgin flight but they switched to Malindo Airlines and then had decoy cars to trick the media back in Brissie. No word on where she is ATM, some say she’s holed up in the Sofitel (good choice – they do a lovely room service tapas platter). And family gathered yesterday at the home of Rosleigh Rose(Corby’s mother) in Loganlea on the Goldie to celebrate, including rellie Jan who brought a yuuuge bottle of vodka. That Aunty Jan, she’s a rabble-rouser!

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
The hunt for Corby will continue today. We’re thinking positive and reckon it will be interesting to see how Team Corby play it from a media management point of view. In the meantime, there’s speculation a media deal is in play – word is one of the TV networks is paying for her security, and it's the security firm that is taking the behind-the-scenes footage. They would then sell it to the network as Corby can't directly sell her story under our proceeds-of-crime laws. If that doesn't work maybe she can build a career as an Instagram influencer? Since opening her account on Saturday she's gained 137,000 followers. If that is her chosen field, she’s off to a rough start – the family of William Tyrrell weren't happy she had his image on her handbag throughout Operation Leave Bali. And longer term, reports say Corby would be able to return to Bali in six months time - something family friends say she wants. This time we think she’ll leave to boogie board at home.

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SQUIZ THE REST

TRUMP EXPECTED TO PULL OUT OF PARIS CLIMATE AGREEMENT
US President Donald Trump disappointed his G7 mates on the weekend by failing to commit the US to remaining within the Paris Climate Agreement. He said he'd make up his mind soon, but reports say he is expected to leave the agreement. The agreement is two years old, and nations agreed to cut their greenhouse gas emissions to keep global warming to under 2 degrees C. Daughter Ivanka is said to be a supporter of staying in the agreement – make of that what you will. We think everyone is coming at this the wrong way - we expect Trump likes the warmer temperatures, good for golf. 

NEWSPOLL STATIC
Only one number shifted in latest Newspoll in today’s Australian – Labor leader Bill Shorten’s approval went up a little. Labor still leads the Coalition 53:47 on a two-party preferred basis. And PM Malcolm Turnbull still leads Shorten in the preferred PM stakes 45:33 (Shorten up from 31). The Australian deduces Labor have maintained the lead via strong rhetoric against the Coalition – a tactic that worked for former PM Tony Abbott in opposition but ultimately didn’t provide a plan for governing.

HEALTH FUNDING SHAKE-UP?
Fairfax Media this morning say a new health funding model is being worked up in secret by senior bureaucrats. The proposal would see the federal government pooling the cash it spends on public hospitals and the private health rebate (almost $30 billion) and giving that money to patients for the service they receive, whether it's in the public or private system. The report notes the plan is so secret health minister Greg Hunt might not even be aware of it. Our prediction for today - we'll see a lot of Hunt saying ‘no way, Jose' and Labor saying the Coalition hates Medicare.

BRITISH AIRLINES IT ISSUE INCONVENIENCE
It was a bad weekend if you were a British Airways passenger. BA cancelled most flights from Heathrow and Gatwick airports on Saturday after a big ugly IT failure said to be caused by a power supply issue. Our theory is an energy conscious employee powered down the computer on their way out on Friday night like you’re meant to. Thousands of people were inconvenienced, some got to travel without their luggage – just a complete cluster-disaster. BA said there would be ongoing issues in the days to come due to the knock-on issues of planes and people being out of position.

BIN LADEN THE YOUNGER EMERGES AS NEW PLAYER ON THE TERROR SCENE
“Prepare diligently to inflict crippling losses on those who have disbelieved. Follow in the footsteps of martyrdom-seekers before you.” He’s baaa-aaack… Well not quite, but close enough. Osama bin Laden’s son Hamza has started to rally the al-Qaeda troops with a recording calling on followers to attack European and North American cities to avenge the deaths of Syrian children. Apparently al-Qaeda is looking for a way back now that Islamic State is losing ground. Truly terrifying.

TURNBULL POURS COLD WATER ON INDIGENOUS REFERENDUM IDEA
This news is a couple of days old but we know you like to tune out a little over the weekend. Late on Friday, Indigenous leaders rejected simple acknowledgement in the constitution – instead they want more substantial changes including an elected representative body and a process to work towards treaties. The position is outlined in a document called the Uluru Statement from the Heart and says; "We seek constitutional reforms to empower our people and take a rightful place in our own country.” An appointed group will work on this position and report by 30 June. Turnbull warned that Australian’s are “constitutionally conservative” so be realistic about what people will support in a referendum – clearly the 1999 Republic loss (a campaign he led) remains fresh in his mind.

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SQUIZ SAYINGS

“Lavish and classy”

That would be supermodel/former Gunnedah resident Miranda Kerr’s wedding yesterday to Snapchat CEO Evan Spiegel. Just 30 guests attended the ceremony held in the backyard of their Los Angeles home. She’s beautiful and successful, he’s a catch (a good looking 26yo billionaire), and they have the sort of backyard to host a classy wedding. #soblessed

SQUIZ THE DAY

French and Russian Presidents to meet - Versailles, France

International Day of UN Peacekeepers

Cancer Research Awareness Week

Cooper's Hill Cheese Rolling Festival - Gloucestershire, UK

100th anniversary of John F Kennedy's birthday