Squiz Today – Monday, 4 December

SQUIZ SAYINGS

"Two Big Macs, two Fillet-O-Fish and a chocolate malted."

That’s US President Donald Trump’s standard McDonald's order according to former campaign manager Corey Lewandowski. Holy moly.

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CHRISTMAS COMES EARLY FOR TURNBULL

THE SQUIZ
After a resounding win in the New England by-election with former Deputy PM Barnaby Joyce safely returned to parliament, PM Malcolm Turnbull was all about the reflected glory as he bunkers down for a big and challenging week. And good news this morning for the Coalition with today's Newspoll. The Coalition’s two-party preferred standings have improved to 47 against Labor’s 53 – the last poll was 55:45 to Labor. This result was also replicated in this morning’s Fairfax/Ipsos poll. Still, Turnbull will be deploying his best zen-master moves during a very important week.

WHY IS THIS WEEK SO IMPORTANT?
Put yourself in a Coalition MP's shoes (pick a nice pair). Last week was a standout in the disaster stakes. So, you're probably worried about your chances of still having your job in 18 months. On top of that, you've been worried that the boss isn't travelling well. And this week you've got a work crunch (think same-sex marriage and a lot of other stuff), so there's going to be some late nights in the office. And it's Christmas party week. In other words, it's going to be epic. Turnbull yesterday made a pitch to the doubters in his ranks by highlighting some potential trouble ahead for Labor with MPs' citizenship checks to be filed by 5pm tomorrow. And news this morning that Bill Shorten also met with Chinese-gazillionaire of the moment Huang Xiangmo will up the pressure on Labor.

AND WILL THE NATIONALS SETTLE DOWN?
They will be buoyed after their leader did well on the weekend. On a two-party preferred basis, Joyce had a 7.34% swing towards him. Almost two-thirds of the electorate gave him their first vote. But Joyce has his work cut out for him after his troops were key troublemakers in a turbulent couple of weeks. George Christensen was outed as the MP who told conservative commentators he would become an independent if Turnbull was still PM by the end of the year. He’s now locked in, but Joyce has a few others who need to calm the farm. But you really wanted to ask how Meow-Ludo Disco Gamma Meow Meow went in New England, right? He got just 1.35% of the vote. Who said politics had no characters left?

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SQUIZ THE REST

TRUMP’S TROUBLESOME TWEETS ON FLYNN DISMISSAL
On Friday, President Trump’s first White House national security adviser Michael Flynn sensationally pleaded guilty to liaising between Russia and the Trump campaign and cut a deal with Special Counsel Robert Muller’s investigation. Flynn had been accused of lying to the FBI about his interactions with a former Russian Ambassador. It's thought he will provide the investigation with evidence against senior members of the Trump team for a reduced sentence. Yikes. It’s complicated because it’s alleged Trump asked former FBI director James Comey to stop investigating Flynn over the Russian links. ‘Nothing to see here’ (or words to that effect) were ranty-tweeted by Trump. He says Flynn was ultimately fired for lying about his “lawful” interactions with the Russians. Legal eagles say that admission could open a can of worms for Trump.

BALI AIRPORT CLOSED AGAIN
There are only so many Bintang singlets you can buy, sweet cocktails you can drink and times you can get your hair braided before the island paradise of Bali starts to feel less like a holiday destination and more like “I’m a celebrity get me out of here”. Just ask the more than 2,000 Aussie holidaymakers who are still stuck on the Indonesian isle as Mt Agung continues to spew its ashy cargo into the atmosphere. Reports say Jetstar and Virgin managed to each get a few flights out of Denpasar last night but Qantas was still refusing to risk it. Settle in and order another nasi goreng, we say.

SYDNEY HOUSE PRICES TAKE ANOTHER HIT
Auction clearance rates in the Emerald City slumped to 62% at the weekend leading analysts to warn further falls were on the way - and they predict Melbourne will be the next to feel the pinch. Experts pointed to the downturns the Sydney market experienced in 2008 and 2012, remarking that on each occasion the conditions were similar to the current climate. The same economists are predicting property prices in Sydney and Melbourne will fall 5-10% into 2019. Gulp.

WE’RE TV TRASH BAGS
That’s the official verdict from those who kept an eye on what we watched on the box this year. Nine’s Australian Ninja Warrior was the standout program of the year drawing a regular crowd of 1.64 million. Next was Nine’s Sunday airing of The Block. Seven’s The Good Doctor, which only started a few weeks ago, came in third and is the only drama on the top ten list. After that, it’s a combo of Seven’s My Kitchen Rules and Nine’s The Block and Married at First Sight. Seven is claiming the win across all its channels, while Nine says it finished top across all demographics. ABC’s recently dropped The Doctor Blake Mysteries (it’s going to Seven for some telemovie treatment) came in at 28th and comedy (or is it a reality show…) Utopia was 31st.

AUSTRALIA THE KINGS AND QUEENS OF THE RUGBY LEAGUE WORLD
In what was quite possibly the most predictable contest outcome since Barnaby Joyce despatched Meow-Ludo Disco Gamma Meow Meow, the Australian national rugby league team (the Kangaroos) took out the Rugby League World Cup on Saturday in Brissie. The Aussies ended up winning 6-0. Much fanfare followed. Meanwhile, our women’s team (the Jillaroos) once again did us proud, beating the Kiwis 23-16 in their World Cup final. We dips our lid, ladies.

GLENGARRY'S CHICKEN PARMA DRAMA
Don’t you hate it when you have people coming for dinner and you completely over-cater? The good folk of Gippsland’s Glengarry very nearly had a chicken parmigiana glut on their hands at the weekend when the influx of out-of-towners expected to follow the Great Victorian Bike Ride into town was at risk. The storm-super-cell-that-never-was put paid to the ride, leaving the publican at the Glengarry Hotel with more than 2000 hand-crumbed chicken parmies on her hands. No matter: the call went out on social media to come into town, perform a civic duty and down a parmie or two. Hey presto: glut gone, community spirit revived and everyone’s a winner. Except maybe some waistlines…

SQUIZ THE DAY

ABS Data Releases - Business Indicators, September; Labour Force Status and Other Characteristics of Families, June; Mineral and Petroleum Exploration, September

National Cookie Day - US