Squiz Today / 07 May 2018

Squiz Today – Monday, 7 May

SQUIZ SAYINGS

“30,000 Big Macs”

That’s the Guinness World Record set by Don Gorske of Wisconsin after eating at least one of the Macca’s burgers (with two-all-beef-patties-special-sauce-lettuce-cheese-pickles-onions-on-a-sesame-seed-bun) every day since 17 May 1972. Dream, believe, succeed.


ONE MORE SLEEP UNTIL THE BUDGET…

THE SQUIZ
Treasurer Scott Morrison yesterday confirmed the government would deliver tax cuts for low and middle-income Australians, but they won’t be “mammoth”. He said that while the economy is improving, wages are not and that’s left many low-income earners struggling. “We need to provide reward and incentive for people who have been working hard,” he said. Morrison also announced $241 million for a life-saving medicine that treats Spinal Muscular Atrophy. That adds to the infrastructure and environment projects already unveiled.

OK. WHAT ELSE?
Labor’s Treasury spokesman Chris Bowen said “our tests will be fairness and budget responsibility" when assessing what PM Malcolm Turnbull and his troops serve up on Tuesday night. What does that mean?

• ‘Fairness’ is code for how the government targets tax cuts and other spending and savings measures. It also means Labor is set to continue to oppose corporate tax cuts because they benefit ‘the big end of town’.

• And ‘responsibility’ takes us into the realm of what’s appropriate in managing our debt and deficit issues.

COME ON DUDE, IT’S MONDAY…
Sure, the Budget can be less exciting than a poorly attended Yeezy clothing launch. But trust us, this is the moment you’ve been waiting for:

• Deficit – For the last decade, the government has been spending more than it collects. But both the Abbott and Turnbull Governments have been talking a big game about reversing the situation. It likely won’t be for a couple of years, but the forecast of when we’ll return to surplus is a big part of Tuesday night’s funfest.

• Debt – That is, what the Australian government owes in total – and how much it’s increasing by. According to the last numbers, we’re on track for government borrowings to top $684 billion within 10 years. Yikes… So there’s a focus on the government’s plan to manage this.

And for extra points, this is a great read on the government’s challenge to win the trust of voters by Squizer (and Nine’s chief political editor) Chris Uhlmann. See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?


SQUIZ THE REST

PEOPLE SMUGGLING PLOT FOILED
Malaysian police have intercepted a tanker carrying 131 Sri Lankans believed to be bound for Australia and New Zealand. All aboard have been arrested, including those allegedly involved in organising it. Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton wouldn't comment on what our government knew about the syndicate ahead of time but said we regularly work with Malaysia on security issues.

TERRIBLE WEEKEND ON VICTORIA’S ROADS
Four line-dancing friends were killed near Ararat on Saturday night when their car was t-boned by a driver who allegedly failed to notice a stop sign. The women were grandmothers and founding members of the Hamilton Bootscooters. Police said the women in the front seats were holding hands when they were found. Four other deaths resulted from separate crashes across the state. All those poor families…

KILAUEA VOLCANO A STINKER
Ahh, Hawaii - a great place to relax and unwind. Unless you're on the Big Island and trying to dodge lava, earthquakes and gas… The massive Kilauea volcano has erupted threatening residential areas near Hilo, forcing more than 1,700 to evacuate. Molten lava is an issue, as is the deadly sulphur dioxide gas. There's also the small possibility of a tsunami after the island experienced its biggest earthquake in +40 years. And it sounds like things are set to worsen in the coming days.

A PRESCRIPTION FOR EXERCISE
Our cancer experts have become the first in the world to recommend exercise as a standard part of therapy plans. And not just a little bit, either. They’re talking about three resistance sessions and 150 minutes of moderate cardio exercise a week. It’s a result of growing evidence that some huffy-puffy can increase survival rates by up to 44%.

SOCCER FINAL ENDS IN TEARS
Well, tears if you were a Newcastle Jets fan. That’s because Saturday’s A-League grand final saw the VAR (video assistant referee) fail to capture the only goal scored in the game. If it had, it would have picked up that a Melbourne Victory player was offside in the lead up to the goal being scored. “Unbelievable” was about the nicest thing a Jets fan said of the tech-fail. The Victory won 1-0.

CHARLOTTE LOVES LOUIS
The first pics of Prince Louis, the latest royal rug-rat, are very sweet. And taken by mum, the Duchess of Cambridge, no less. Not featured was Prince George. Too busy plotting Meghan Markle’s demise, perhaps?

SQUIZ THE DAY

Public Holidays in Queensland (Labour Day) and Northern Territory (May Day)

Westpac 2018 Interim Results Announcement

NAB Business Confidence Survey

4.00pm (AEST) - Lebanese election results announced

Anniversary of the birthday of Eva Peron (1919)

Anniversary of the launch of the Honda Accord (1976)

The Squiz Archive

Want to check out Squiz Today from the archive?

Get the Squiz Today newsletter

It's a quick read and doesn't take itself too seriously. Get on it.