Squiz Today – Thursday, 13 July

SQUIZ SAYINGS

“Activated charcoal fish and chips”

Wrong, wrong, wrong. Do we even need to say it? The fish fillets are covered in a black batter making it look like… well… see for yourself. And the fish is then artfully served on a plate with a beetroot labneh – not a chip in sight. The Long Story Short café in Port Melbourne is said to have a menu packed with “Instagram worthy” dishes – except it seems for this one.

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PREPARING FOR ISLAMIC STATE 2.0

THE SQUIZ
First, the good news. Islamic State’s spiritual home of Mosul, Iraq has been taken from them and progress is being made to banish them from the Syrian stronghold of Raqqa. There are also reports that their leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is dead. But their defeat will bring other problems, eg foreign fighters will go home and experts believe IS will live on online. These are just a couple of the issues Western countries are considering as progress is made on the battlefields.

HANG ON, TELL ME ABOUT BAGHDADI…
The respected humanitarian group Syrian Observatory for Human Rights says it believes Baghdadi is dead. There’s some scepticism from the US, but it builds on Russia’s belief they may have killed him during an airstrike on Raqqa last month. Baghdadi’s death has been announced before, but this time it's being taken seriously because the Observatory has a good record. The US has a $25 million bounty on Baghdadi’s head – the same reward it had for Osama Bin Laden.

HOW IS AUSTRALIA PLACED TO DEAL WITH ISLAMIC STATE 2.0?
Good question. These issues were touched on in the NSW Coroner’s Report into the handling of the Lindt Café siege – ie do our intelligence agencies, police and governments collaborate well enough, and are the right people/agencies/military lined up to respond if something terrible was to happen. There have long been murmurings about the creation of a super ‘homeland’ ministry that would put responsibility for the federal government bureaucracies involved in these things under one minister. It’s a hot topic that’s divided politicians and experts. Some noted it would have been on PM Malcolm Turnbull’s radar this week with during his security briefings with UK authorities while meeting with UK PM Theresa May, herself a former Home Secretary. Watch this space.

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SQUIZ THE REST

TAX OFFICE HACKING MANUAL LEAKED ONLINE
We’re tragically straighty-180 when it comes to some things. We’re very happy to ignore parking signs from time to time (in fact it makes us feel alive!) and if there’s a way to get out of the resulting fines we’re all ears. But for the benefit of any ATO types tuning in, we have the help of a very good and proper accountant so we think we’re high-quality people. That's why we’d normally be pleased to learn the Tax Office has high-tech ways of catching the cheats. Not so great is ATO staff leaking their how-to-hack-a-phone manual on the interwebs for all to see. It is interesting to know a bit more about the surveillance powers of the ATO, something that was previously the realm of police and intelligence agencies. Paul Hogan look out! And FYI, the staff member was not fired, just warned.

FORMER BRAZILIAN PRESIDENT FOUND GUILTY OF CORRUPTION
Former Brazilian President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva has been found guilty of corruption and sentenced to nine-and-a-half years jail (although he remains free until an appeal is heard). He was accused of accepting a beachfront apartment from an engineering firm in exchange for help to win contracts from state oil company Petrobras. It’s the first of five charges against him. Lula was president from 2003-11 and was said to be considering another run in next year’s elections.

TEN CROWN STAFF RELEASED IN CHINA
Two Australians are among the ten Crown employees freed from detention yesterday in China after pleading guilty last month to the illegal promotion of gambling. Jason O’Connor, the most senior Crown executive detained, will be released next month. For those set free, it’s the end of a nine-month ordeal after admitting to targeting high-rolling Chinese gamblers to visit Crown Resorts casinos.

DRINKING APP TO RELY ON NAG-POWER
Good intentions are behind a new $300,000 app developed by the Burnett Institute and Victorian government aimed at kerbing uni student drinking benders. Talk about an investment in hope over experience! The idea is you turn on the app when you go out and you get questions fired at you throughout the night like ‘how much have you spent’, ‘are you going home’, ‘do you have to work tomorrow’? Much like a needy boyfriend/girlfriend you’ve left at home. Look, we get binge drinking is a serious issue. But not too sure about this one (could you tell?)… #culturalchangeishard

OUR CLAIM ON WIMBLEDON
Let’s face it - it wasn’t a great Wimbledon for the Aussies. Just one player got through the second round before crashing out, Bernard Tomic won the tournament’s superbrat award, and Nick Kyrgios was notable for a boozy night and a dodgy hip. Little wonder that we’ve had to go looking further afield for some good news – and we’ve found it in Johanna Konta. She plays for Britain but is really an Aussie. She was born in Sydney and lived here until she was 14yo but moved to the UK when Tennis Australia cut her talent development funding. D’oh! She’s in the semi-final v Venus Williams tonight.

And while we're talking sport in the UK - the Australian women won their World Cup cricket match against India last night and have secured a spot in the semi-finals ahead of their final group match against South Africa on the weekend. C'mon Aussie! 

MAROONS VICTORIOUS… AGAIN
All things considered, it wasn’t a great night to be a New South Welshperson after the Queensland Maroons clobbered the NSW Blues in the STATE OF ORIGIN DECIDER! (All caps because that's how you say it - shouty.) The Blues copped a hiding up at Brissie’s Suncorp Stadium, going down 22-6, despite going into the match as clear favourites. Oops. There were a lot of large men in tight footy garb and a lot of time spent lionising a man called JT. Meanwhile, the rest of the country looked on in bemusement.

SQUIZ THE DAY

ABS Data Release - Lending Finance, May

8.00PM (AEST) - Sydney FC v Arsenal - ANZ Stadium, Sydney

8.30pm (AEST) - Venus Williams v Johanna Konta - Wimbledon, UK