Squiz Today – Thursday, 25 October

SQUIZ SAYINGS

"They weren't the brightest."

Said a Belgian storeowner who tricked a band of robbers by telling them not once, but twice to come back later when he’d have more cash. Funnily enough, it also gave him time to get the police there. They were as thick as thieves…

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HAGGLING FOR GOLD

THE SQUIZ
Some of Australia’s highest profile athletes and the Australian Olympic Committee (AOC) are warning that we’re on track for fewer Norman May-style “gold, gold for Australia, gold” moments at future Olympic Games. Anticipating a difficult day, Sport Minister Bridget McKenzie announced a $50 million funding boost to be spent over two years. But AOC boss Matt Carroll said Olympic sports need $60 million a year ongoing to do as well as Aussies expect. And the athletes said without more money our Olympic performances will “inevitably transform into mediocrity”.

BACK IT UP A BIT…
• First, how it works. The AOC doesn’t receive government funding. But the Institute of Sport (which identifies and develops elite athletes) and Sport Australia (the artists formerly known as the Australian Sports Commission which funds the sporting associations) do.

• All three organisations and their key people (particularly to AOC) have been subject to a lot of criticism in the recent past.

• And with our Olympic performances going downhill since the Sydney and Athens games and our worst result in 24 years in Rio in 2016, our top sports administrators have walked away from the target being a top-five finisher at the Tokyo Olympics in 2020. Instead, we’re looking for a result of fifth to tenth on the medal table.

BUT I LIKE WHEN WE WINNING MEDALS…
Don’t we all? But it’s clear that if we want high performing water polo, gymnastics, archery, and equestrian teams (to name a few), they'll need more money. Experience shows increased funding does equate to more medals. But how important is it compared to, say, the arts? Or schools funding? Because the government says they have to balance priorities. Which is why the AOC’s Carroll went to great lengths yesterday to point out Australia’s childhood obesity rate and how more funding = more participation in sport = better health. And with Tokyo not that far away and an election on the horizon, now’s the time to agitate.

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SQUIZ THE REST

EXPLOSIVE MAIL BLOCKED
The US Secret Service has intercepted a number of explosive devices sent to prominent people and organisations in the mail. Former President Barack Obama, presidential candidate Hilary Clinton and media outlet CNN are among those targeted. Reports say it’s believed to be the work of the same person or people, and authorities are scrambling to determine if there are other devices in the system. US President Donald Trump condemned the acts and commentary about the political divide and the rising tide of public anger has kicked off.

ASSANGE GETS ECUADOR’S GOAT
Ecuador really has the grumps with its least favourite housemate ever, Aussie WikiLeaker Julian Assange. After imposing some new rules last week (including caring for his cat and cleaning his own bathroom), Assange’s peeps arced up. So Ecuador says it’s not going to talk to the British government about his situation any more. That’s important because he’s been holed up in their embassy in London since 2012, and it’s a situation that has to end with him leaving at some point. And when that happens, without an arrangement with the Brits, it's expected they will arrest him over his WikiLeaking. As long as the cat’s ok…

ON THE EVIDENCE TRAIL
The residents of Wangetti Beach, a small community north of Cairns, are having their DNA collected for analysis as police look for the killer of 24yo Toyah Cordingley. She disappeared while walking her dog on Sunday and was found near the beach on Monday. Reports say it has shaken locals who are struggling to believe someone they know could have attacked and taken Cordingley’s life. Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk said; "This should not happen to a young woman walking her dog on a Sunday - that is the reality."

HEY, WHAT ARE OUR FORMER POLITICAL LEADERS UP TO?
It’s so weird you ask.

• PM -1 (aka Malcolm Turnbull) is off to represent Oz at an oceans conference in Bali next week. And Labor and some Coalition peeps aren’t happy about it…

• Deputy Lib leader -1 (aka Julie Bishop) has good shoe game. That’s not new news. It’s the gift of a potentially pricey pair that has pinched her toes.

• PM -4 (aka Julia Gillard) had her official portrait unveiled yesterday. Attended by PM -2 (aka Tony Abbott), Gillard said she wanted the picture to reflect that she was "different from every prime minister who had come before, that I was the first woman to serve in this role."

HYBPA GOES GLOBAL
That’s Network Ten’s Have You Been Paying Attention for the uninitiated… Working Dog Productions (the brains behind Champagne comedy like Utopia and The Castle) have sold the news quiz show to American giant CBS who will bring the format to a global audience. Remember CBS are the mob who bought Ten last year, and this is the first Aussie show to benefit from the deal. Working Dog says they hope the world has maintained its sense of humour about the news in these challenging times.

DO NOT PASS GO-LDIE
Monopoly – Gold Coast edition. It’s a thing. The theme parks, Pacific Fair and Main Beach are there. The only question is whether the player pieces include a pair of white shoes and an under-the-weather schoolie?

SQUIZ THE DAY

50,000 troops to take part in NATO's biggest military exercises since the Cold War - Norway

Birthdays for author Anne Tyler (1941), and singers Helen Reddy (1941) and Katy Perry (1984)