Squiz Today / 22 August 2017

Squiz Today – Tuesday, 22 August


“I still had to sit there for two hours and be a gentleman. We had a nice conversation. She complimented me many times.”

Billy Peck, who recently claimed the title of New York’s most undateable man, confirmed he is still single. We don’t know why – he sounds like a charmer!


Ten US Navy sailors are missing and five were badly injured when the USS John S McCain (named after Senator John McCain’s father and grandfather) hit an oil tanker near Singapore yesterday. A search and rescue mission is using US and Singaporean ships and aircraft to look for the sailors. The oil tanker was said to have been about three times the size of the US Navy’s guided missile destroyer and the area where the collision occurred is one of the busiest shipping lanes in the world. Pictures show the USS John S McCain was badly damaged but it was able to make its way to port in Singapore.

Yes, it does, and reports say US Navy brass are embarrassed and want answers. Yesterday’s incident is the second collision involving a US Naval ship in the last two months. The USS Fitzgerald hit a container ship near Japan killing seven sailors in June. And there have been two other incidents this year – in May the USS Lake Champlain hit a South Korean fishing vessel, and in January the USS Antietam ran aground in Tokyo Bay. There was also the incident off the Capricorn Coast of Oz a couple of weeks ago when a US Navy Osprey aircraft crashed killing three sailors. All US Navy craft were either on patrol in the Indo-Asia-Pacific region or were involved in military exercises. 

You mean the ones between the US and SOUTH Korea? (Soz for the mistake yesterday, OMG.) It’s fair to say North Korea aren’t thrilled with the situation. They issued a warning that the ten days of exercises constituted "reckless behaviour driving the situation into the uncontrollable phase of a nuclear war." So that’s not great. And North Korea has also warned Australia that getting involved is “suicidal” (we have about 25 Defence Force members taking part). China have also indicated they think the exercises should have been abandoned for fear of provoking North Korea. Warning - it’s going to be an uncomfortable few days.


There are three parts to this today:

Spanish authorities have shot and killed the suspected driver of Thursday’s van attack, Younes Abouyaaqoub. It’s alleged that after the Moroccan-born 22yo hit and killed 13 pedestrians on Las Ramblas, he escaped on foot and hijacked a car after killing the driver. After days of searching, Abouyaaqoub was found in a rural area west of Barcelona and reports say he was killed when he threatened to explode a suicide vest (which was later found to be fake).

Focus has shifted to the origins of the terror cell with questions being asked about the role of a local Imam in the picturesque town of Ripoll, where eight of the attackers came from. Some family members say the men were swayed by a charismatic cleric to turn to violence - he has been missing since last week.

And Julian Cadman was yesterday described by his family as energetic, funny and cheeky. And they very generously offered their thoughts to other victims; “We also acknowledge we are not the only family to be affected by the events, our prayers and thoughts are with all people affected.” Attention turned to Julian’s school yesterday in Sydney’s Lalor Park where a school official said; “He was a little boy who would give his teachers a hug every day when he arrived at school, he was much loved.” So very sad.

It’s a dispute as old as time. And it’s heated – like, Mariah Carey v Jennifer Lopez heated. The doctors don’t much like the health insurers and the feelz is totally mutual. Yesterday the Australian Medical Association (representing the docs) accused the health funds of cheating members with “junk” health policies that don’t cover much. It called on the government to legislate against rip-off policies and move towards a ‘gold/silver/bronze’ system of classing policies so consumers know what they’re getting. The health funds basically said “nothing to see here” and “get nicked”. So that went well…

The competition regulator is everywhere at the moment (think gas/electricity/mortgage market monitoring) and yesterday they waded into the prickly issue of National Broadband Network speeds. Releasing guidelines on advertising for the NBN, the ACCC said there is a “frankly terrible” practice where providers promote an if-you’re-standing-on-one-foot-and-facing-south fantasy maximum speed leading to yuuuge complaints when consumers realise they’ve been sold a pup. With consumers now being forced to migrate to the NBN, the ACCC says they are going to continue to monitor the situation to ensure users are told the truth about what they’re signing up to.

SIERRA LEONE MUDSLIDES – Rescue workers have unearthed almost 500 bodies from the mudslides after last week’s floods in Freetown, including 150 children. More than 600 people remain missing. The expected toll makes it one of the worst flooding disasters in Africa in years.

MUGABE GRANTED DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY – Grace Mugabe, wife of Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe, has left South Africa without having to answer questions about the assault of model Gabriella Engles who was keeping her sons company in a hotel room. Ahem. Engles claimed Mugabe assaulted her with an electrical extension cord. 

MUSK GOES ON ABOUT THE ROBOTS… AGAIN – Keen Squiz’ers will remember Tesla boss Elon Musk’s dislike of robots and artificial intelligence. He's now backing calls for the UN to ban “killer robots”, otherwise known as autonomous weapons, saying they could be hacked to operate in dangerous ways. That doesn't sound silly TBH...

SORRY, NICK - We totally jinxed Aussie tennis hope Nick Kyrgios in his Cincinnati Masters final yesterday. He lost to Grigor Dimitrov 6-3 7-6.

Did you sense a shifting of the energies of the universe while you slept last night? Little wonder. Eighties pop icon and huge-hair enthusiast Bonnie Tyler was aboard a Royal Caribbean cruise somewhere off the Bahamas belting out her power ballad classic, Total Eclipse Of The Heart during a total eclipse of the sun. See what they did there? The #GreatAmericanEclipse was only visible at certain latitudes, hence the careful positioning of the ship for maximum effect. Call us tragic, but we would have given our last set of crimping irons to have been aboard.


11.00am (AEST) - US President Donald Trump to give an address on Afghanistan and South Asia Policy

11.00pm (AEST) - Aussie Wallaroos v Ireland in the Women's World Rugby Cup - Ireland

ABS Data Releases - Producer Price Indexes, June; Census Data on Families with School Children and Income Distribution

Company Earnings Announcement - BHP

James Corden's 39th Birthday - a gratuitous opportunity for a link to our favourite Carpool Karaoke (it's had 121 million views before you go getting all judgy...)

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