Squiz Today – Wednesday, 14 February

SQUIZ SAYINGS

“I think living on eight acres gives me a head start when the undead rise.”

Alison Kubler – curator, author, businesswoman, board director, mother and fashion icon – is one busy lady. And as someone who’s given some thought to the zombie apocalypse, she’s also a handy person to know. We're stoked to have Alison bring her undeniable style to this week’s Three Minute Squiz.

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JOYCE SAGA DEEPENS

THE SQUIZ
The leader of the National Party has resigned. "It's nice to be able to leave at a time when you're credible,” he said. No, you haven’t missed the story. That’s how it went down for New Zealand’s former PM Bill English yesterday. His situation couldn’t be more different for his former countryman and Oz Nationals’ leader, Barnaby Joyce. More shoes dropped on his domestic situation yesterday, and the pressure increased a few Pascals.

WHAT HAPPENED?
Joyce built his credibility with a ‘telling it how it is’ swagger. But lately he’s been looking less convincing when explaining how his relationship with his former media adviser Vikki Campion developed – and whether he’s complied with his responsibilities to taxpayers and as a minister. Things like:

• Saying it was fine to move Campion to new parliamentary jobs because she wasn’t his ‘partner’, which doesn't address whether it was the right thing to do if they were in a relationship.

• Living in an apartment in Armidale rent-free after moving out of the family home – a favour from a local millionaire.

• Spending 50 nights in Canberra – where Campion was based – between January and September last year when parliament wasn’t sitting at taxpayers expense.

HOW LONG ARE WE GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT THIS?
Sorry. It seems good old-fashioned political sagas aren't made for modern-day attention spans, so we'll make this quick. These things can sometimes take weeks, even months to either fizzle out or blow up deluxe. But some think Joyce could be gone by the end of this week – so who knows? His colleagues are certainly talking about it. But what’s becoming clearer is the more that records are unpicked and questions are asked, the harder it’s getting for Joyce to hang on. For Joyce’s part, he yesterday apologised to the six women in his life – his ex, his daughters and his new partner - for the hurt caused.

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SQUIZ THE REST

CYCLONE GITA FLATTENS TONGA
Winds of more than 230km/h even flattened the Parliament building on the main island. Tens of thousands of locals have been left without power, and up to 40% of the island nation experienced property damage due to high winds and flooding. Gita was not without a sense of humour, taking out the meteorology office. "So we had not much contact as to where the cyclone was going," said spokesman Graham Kenna. Australia is mobilising emergency equipment. Thankfully no deaths have been recorded.

PUSH ON ZUMA TO GO
South African President Jacob Zuma’s ANC party has formally asked him to resign. He’s refused which plunges the country into a full-blown political crisis. If the latest move comes to nothing, he could face a vote of no confidence in the parliament which pundits say he would lose. Zuma faces corruption charges, and his party is keen to pass the leadership baton to his deputy and anti-corruption campaigner, Cyril Ramaphosa.

KIM PRAISES THE SOUTH
Taking a leaf out of the good manners book, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has praised his southern neighbours for hosting his nation’s delegation at the PyeongChang Winter Olympics. His sister, Kim Yo Jong, has already returned home. Kim is also using the slight thaw in relations to push for further discussions with South Korea. What hasn’t thawed is the scepticism – even US President Donald Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin were talking about it.

IKEA DREAMS BIGGER
The Aussie boss of flat-pack supremoes Ikea wants more of us to get up close and personal with an Allen key. Boss Jan Gardberg told Nine News last night he wants to double the company’s current market share. That’s a whole lot more Malms around the place. And he plans to add to their 10 stores with new smaller format, regional and pop-up stores. He also thinks sourcing locally would be a good idea for some items like mattresses. Then there’s the razzle-dazzle – Gardberg says he’s also interested in selling solar panels at cost as a community initiative. Imagine the assembly instructions for those…

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY
Unless you’re single because then we have a warning for you. As if it wasn’t tough enough already, zombie bots are coming… Computer mob IBM say millions of nasty online critters will be released into ‘the network’ to target the lovelorn. “Those behind this campaign will likely lure their victims to share revealing photos and extort them, ask for money to come visit, or end up infecting them with malware,” the company said. Just be careful opening emails from addresses you don’t recognise – even if it looks like a great offer from an attractive stranger. Stay safe out there, lovers.

SQUIZ THE DAY

12.30pm (AEDT)  - Aussies Scotty James and Kent Callister in the Halfpipe Olympic final

12.30pm (AEDT) - Professor Emma Johnston is at the National Press Club for the Science meets Parliament Address: 'Australia’s science and technology on the world stage' - Canberra

ABS Data Release - Livestock Products, December

Ash Wednesday and the start of Lent

Valentine's Day