Squiz Today – Wednesday, 16 May

SQUIZ SAYINGS

“Goat golf caddie”

Say no more…

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TROUBLED TIMES ON THE GAZA STRIP

THE SQUIZ
The UN was the scene for heated exchanges between Israeli and Palestinian representatives overnight as the funerals for the 60 killed in Monday’s violence took place across Gaza. A spokesman for United Nations Secretary-General António Guterres said he was "profoundly alarmed" by Israel's actions. And the British government has called for an independent inquiry. The region's deadliest days for some years have been sparked by the opening of America’s new embassy in Jerusalem, the 70th anniversary of the establishment of Israeli, and six weeks of Palestinian protests at the border.

SOUNDS COMPLICATED…
You’re perceptive. Three quick things to note:

• US President Donald Trump’s recognition of Jerusalem as Israel’s capital and embassy shift is significant. Palestine claims East Jerusalem as its own and believes America’s move disqualifies it as a broker of peace in the region.

• Tensions were already running high. To the Palestinians, yesterday marked the “catastrophe” of the establishment of Israel and their ancestors’ displacement. And tensions have escalated recently on the border over Israel’s blockade of Gaza.

• PM Benjamin Netanyahu says Israel's actions have been in self-defence against Gaza's Islamist rulers, Hamas.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
Some pundits think it’s heading towards war. Again. The last war was fought in 2014. But that’s speculative at this stage. What is clear is that even though Team Trump is working to foster better relations between Israel and the Gulf states, it has some work to do to get Palestine to the table.

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SQUIZ THE REST

NORTH KOREA SPITS IT
North Korean state media says high-level talks with South Korea have been cancelled and the US has been warned that the upcoming talks between leader Kim Jong Un and President Trump are in jeopardy. Why? South Korea and the US are in the middle of military exercises subtly named 'Max Thunder'. They say it's just BAU and part of the long-standing military agreement.

SAFE TRAVELS
Get ready to see more federal police officers at the airport. PM Malcolm Turnbull and Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton yesterday announced ID checks at airports for anyone, anytime. They also outlined upgraded security for domestic travellers, including at regional airports, to lift scan rates to 94% of passengers. The reason for the increased security is “dangerous times,” said Turnbull. Which is what this former ambassador lives in if he sees Foreign Affairs Minister Julie Bishop anytime soon…

TIME RUNS OUT FOR ATHLETES
Remember the eight Cameroon athletes who went MIA from the Gold Coast Commonwealth Games? Turns out they were just some of the 19 Africans who remained in Australia after the blue koala was packed away. And reports say some have sought advice on how to stay in Oz. With their visas expiring last night, we’ll likely learn more in the coming days about their status.

TESTING TIME FOR NAPLAN
If you have anything to do with school-aged kids, you’d know that it’s NAPLAN week. And while they're busy being assessed, debate has once again flared about just how good/bad the whole process is. There were even reports that some schools concerned about their scores were asking kids with learning difficulties to stay at home. Despite the grumbling from some quarters, Education Minister Simon Birmingham yesterday said that the tests are here to stay. Which is all just an excuse to give you this link: find out how you’d go on the year 9 test. Maths never was our strong suit…

MARKLE’S FAMILY PLUMBS NEW DEPTHS
While Princess Bride Meghan Markle’s sister attempted to dig their father out of the steaming pile of royal doggie-doo he found himself in after collaborating with a paparazzo ahead of Saturday’s royal wedding, other members of the American actress’s family were flocking to London to cause her further embarrassment. Despite not being invited to the nuptials, her nephews and sister-in-law have touched down in Heathrow to take up ‘special correspondent’ roles for Good Morning Britain. The mind boggles. Meanwhile, Meghan’s co-stars from the TV series Suits have also arrived, invites in hand. So she will have some people on her side of the church after all...

A GAP IN CHINA’S VIEW OF ITSELF…
First, it was New Zealand on the front foot over being left off the map. Now clothing retailer Gap has found itself embroiled in a cartology crisis. China has taken exception to a t-shirt featuring a map that does not show the Chinese-claimed territories including Taiwan, South China Sea islands and south Tibet. And even though the White House recently called China's sensitivity to these matters "Orwellian nonsense", Gap apologised. The yuan is mightier than the map.

SQUIZ THE DAY

12.30pm (AEST) - Chris Bowen, Labor's Treasury spokesman, to address the National Press Club on the Budget - Canberra

Cardinal George Pell's case returns to the Victorian County Court for the consideration of a suppression order application submitted by prosecutors

ABS Data Release - Wage Price Index, March

Coca-Cola Amatil's Annual General Meeting

Anniversary of the death of "Muppets" creator Jim Henson (1990)