Squiz Today – Wednesday, 19 September

SQUIZ SAYINGS

“You dog!”

Was Triple J breakfast host Liam Stapleton's reaction when the penny dropped that their boss had pranked him and co-host Ben Harvey. After reacting badly to a 6.00am on-air wake-up call last week, boss Lachlan Macara found his funny bone and got the duo into the studio for a fake interview with megastar Kendrick Lamar – at 6.00am on Saturday. Touché.

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TRADING UP FOR A FIGHT

THE SQUIZ
Air conditioners, food, furniture and lamps: they’re just a handful of the consumer products now on the frontline of the escalating trade war between the world’s two biggest economies. The Trump Administration yesterday confirmed the US would add an additional 10% tariff to almost $200 billion of Chinese imports. The move builds on the first round of tariffs on $50 billion of industrial imports. US President Donald Trump says as well as trying to kickstart American manufacturing, he wants China to drop unfair trade practices. But critics say the move will hurt the US economy and raise prices for the Average Joe and Josephine.

WHAT’S CHINA SAID?
They are going to retaliate. Saying they are acting “more in sorrow than in anger”, China will impose additional tariffs simultaneously with the US when they come into effect next Monday. Game on.

WHAT ABOUT US?
You don't mean the Pink song, do you? Didn't think so. It's potentially a shocker for Australia. China is our biggest trade partner (= rock), and the US is our biggest ally (= hard place). And we're between them. Because we have an export-dependent economy, an all-out trade war is bad for us. Economists here say that scenario could include a recession, up to 60,000 job cuts and a drop in our quality of life. And with reports that Labor is under pressure from its union backers to walk away from the Trans-Pacific Partnership, trade is simmering away as a potential election issue.

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SQUIZ THE REST

RUSSIAN PLANE SHOT DOWN IN SYRIA
Fifteen Russian personnel onboard were killed when their plane came down yesterday. Russia says Israeli fighter jets pushed its surveillance plane into the path of Syrian air defence systems resulting in its downing. Reports say Russian President Vladimir Putin and Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu have spoken in an attempt to defuse tensions.

And while we have you… CNN reports that American-made bombs have allegedly been used in Yemen by the Saudi-led Coalition in attacks that have resulted in the deaths of civilians, including children.

OPTING OUT OF MY HEALTH
About 900,000 of us have decided we don’t want a bar of the government’s My Health Record. Every Aussie will get an online health profile by 15 November unless they elect to stay out of the system. A number of health and privacy advocates have raised concerns about the system forcing the government to tighten up the safeguards. Labor likened the implementation of the project to Amy Schumer.

HOMING IN ON HOUSE PRICES
The Bureau of Stats yesterday confirmed what we already knew – capital city home prices fell last financial year. Clocking the first annual fall since 2012, the official numbers released yesterday showed Sydney and Melbourne leading the way, particularly in the April-June quarter. Declining demand and tighter lending conditions from the banks is said to be behind the drop. Still, home prices in Brissie, Adelaide and Canberra were up for the quarter, while Hobart keeps steaming ahead with a 3% price rise in just three months.

BUNNY IN HOT WATER
Not in a Glenn Close/Fatal Attraction kinda way… Sam Burgess, the Rabbitohs rugby league player of note, husband and father, gave a painful press conference yesterday, ostensibly to quell fevered speculation that he was the owner of a set of male bits offered up via his Facebook Messenger account, apparently without solicitation, to a young woman. But when the cameras were turned on all he had was that he couldn’t say anything. That's unfair... he did say he hoped the matter is cleared up before the team’s big finals game this weekend, so there was that piece of info…

EMMYS “MOSTLY EFFICIENT, KINDA BORING, PLUS A WEDDING PROPOSAL”
Was how Vanity Fair characterised yesterday’s awards ceremony honouring the best of primetime telly. No wonder there were calls for Aussie comedian Hannah Gadsby to host the whole thing next year. In detail:

• Noting that it took an awards show director to liven up the night, Glenn Weiss proposed to his girlfriend while accepting his Emmy for this year’s Oscars.

• The shows that done good were Marvelous Mrs Maisel, Game of Thrones and The Crown. The full list of winners is here.

• And your red carpet gallery is here. But we reckon Sandra Oh’s mum stole the sartorial show.

APROPOS OF NOTHING
One of our favourite news sub-genres could be categorised as ‘postal workers making off with the mail’. Who knows why… This story of US Postal Service employee Ebony Smith pinching greeting cards and how they caught her is a good one for suspicious minds.

Coke goes dope. Reports say the beverage maker is in “serious talks” to develop a range of cannabis-infused drinks. It wouldn’t be their first walk on the wild side - Coca-Cola has a drug-laced history.

Need a new car? Pakistani PM Imran Khan has a deal for you! But the country’s austerity drive has been mocked with the newly installed leader making his 15km journey to work by helicopter each day…

SQUIZ THE DAY

12.30pm (AEST) - Dr Brendan Nelson, Director of the Australian War Memorial, to address the National Press Club on 'We’re all Australians now: 1918 and the War that changed us' - Canberra

7.30pm (AEST) - Netball - Samsung Diamonds V England Roses - Newcastle

ABS Data Release - Jobs in Australia, 2011-12 to 2015-16

Talk Like A Pirate Day supporting Childhood Cancer Support

Anniversary of the first documented use of emoticons by computer scientist Scott Fahlman (1982) :-)

Anniversary of the death of Slim Dusty (2003)