Squiz Today / 22 August 2018
Squiz Today – Wednesday, 22 August
“Working at the Jobcentre has to be a tense job - knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.”
Liverpool comedian Adam Rowe is the winner of this year’s funniest joke of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival with this one-liner. The ten finalists’ jokes are here.
TURNBULL TRIES TO POWER THROUGH – PART 3
In the words of the great Ron Burgundy, “that escalated quickly”… Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull yesterday survived a challenge on his leadership of the Liberal Party securing 48 votes to Peter Dutton’s 35 votes. Dutton resigned from his position as Home Affairs minister after the vote and has failed to rule out having another go. And reports say as many as nine frontbenchers have offered their resignations after voting for Dutton – offers Turnbull is said to have rejected. Key takeout = the government is in disarray.
WHAT DID PEOPLE SAY?
Malcolm Turnbull - "We know that disunity undermines the ability of any government to get its job done. Unity is absolutely critical."
Peter Dutton - "I have never harboured any animosity towards Malcolm Turnbull, not before this ballot, and not now."
Bill Shorten, Labor leader - "If nearly half of his own government do not want him (Turnbull) to be the Prime Minister of Australia, why should the rest of Australia have to put up with him?"
Lee Lin Chin, former SBS newsreader/legend - “I shan’t be putting myself forward in #LibSpill. Whilst the role of Prime Chinister is appealing, I am at heart a Marxist.”
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
Turnbull might have won the day, but he is not out of the woods. Dutton commanded a lot of support from his colleagues yesterday, and if history is anything to go
by he will
have another, and possibly successful, run at becoming leader. The odds have also shortened that a spooked Turnbull could go to an early election, which won’t end well for his government if the polls are to be believed. But Dutton is looking forward to smiling more, so that's a positive.
SQUIZ THE REST
LIVE EXPORTER BANNED
The live sheep exporter responsible for the deaths of 2,500 sheep on their way to the Middle East last year has lost its license. After an investigation, the Department of Agriculture has decided the Emanuel Exports failed to meet the requirements under the legislation that governs the export of livestock and said the step had been taken "in the best interests of the industry and for the protection of Australia's high standards of Animal Welfare.” Emanuel Exports said it was evaluating its options.
PUMPING YOUR MONEY AWAY
As a distraction from the goings on in Canberra, we present another rant-worthy topic - petrol prices. For capital city motorists, prices are at a four-year high with Brissie drivers faring the worst. The culprit is higher crude oil prices and the falling Aussie dollar. The key to getting the best deal? Check out the price comparison apps like MotorMouth, GasBuddy and Fuel Check (for NSW motorists), said the competition regulator.
MAHATHIR PUSHES BACK AGAINST CHINA
Malaysia’s PM Mohamad Mahathir hasn’t lost any of his edge during his faux retirement. The 93yo leader has been meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping this week and didn’t hold back. Warning against a "new type of colonialism" with China in a commanding position, he has cancelled a major rail line and gas pipeline projects that were to be funded by Chinese loans. Mahathir blamed his predecessor and said; “I believe China itself does not want to see Malaysia become a bankrupt country.”
RUSSIA’S NEW ASSAULT ON US POLITICS
With the November congressional mid-term elections in the US absorbing the attention of political watchers, Russian hackers are stepping up their efforts to undermine and meddle. Yesterday, tech giant Microsoft outlined the steps it’s taking to disable phoney websites set up to look like official US government and political organisations in order to hack into the computers of those visiting the sites. Pundits welcomed Microsoft’s actions with one expert saying; “The tech sector will have visibility on some of these things that the National Security Agency never could and never should.”
US First Lady Melania Trump was out promoting her 'Be Best'/anti-cyberbullying campaign yesterday and said the goal is “teaching our next generation how to conduct themselves safely and in a positive manner in an online setting." Close observers said “lol” given just before her appearance her other half, US President Donald Trump, was shooting off tweet after tweet about the “fake news media”, McCarthyism and Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s “witch hunt” into allegations of the Trump campaign's collusion with Russia. It was also announced that she’s going solo on a trip to Africa later this year.
OH NO, MADONNA…
A tribute to Aretha Franklin should have been a slam-dunk at yesterday’s MTV Video Music Awards. But Madonna’s long and self-centred effort was widely criticised along the lines that it amounted to “D.I.S.R.E.S.P.E.C.T.” But something that never disappoints – the red carpet gallery.
SQUIZ THE DAY
12.30pm (AEST) - Deputy PM of New Zealand Winston Peters to address the National Press Club on 'Australia and New Zealand working together in a changing world' - Canberra
ABS Data Release - Construction Work Done, June
Company Earnings Announcements - carsales.com; Coca-Cola Amatil
Anniversary of James Cook's expedition landing on the east coast of Australia (1770)
Comedian and TV presenter James Corden's birthday (1978)
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