Squiz Today / 09 November 2017

Squiz Today – Thursday, 9 November

SQUIZ SAYINGS

"They don't just eat chocolate. It's quite a balanced diet. And no, they don't have diabetes."

Because no one should eat chocolate all day every day – even wagyu cattle. South Australia’s Mayura Station is getting a reputation with foodies for their sweet-but-nutty flavoured wagyu beef. Want to try it? It’ll set you back around $380 for a 300g steak. You could buy 190 packets of Smarties for that!


TELSTRA TO COMPENSATE CUSTOMERS FOR SLOW NBN

THE SQUIZ
With the consumer regulator breathing down its neck, Telstra has offered to compensate 42,000 customers for slower than promised National Broadband speeds. Telstra had advertised that it could provide download speeds of up to 100 megabits per second (Mbps) and maximum upload speeds of 40Mbp. Thousands signed up, paid top dollar and have been left disappointed. Telstra says these customers are just 5% of their NBN customers. And The Australian this morning reports that Optus has similar issues and are working out a similar deal with the ACCC.

WHY AREN'T WE GETTING THE PROMISED SPEEDS?
This issue is that the high-speeds sold by Telstra (and plenty of other telco retailers) are not possible to achieve in the first place. There are two reasons:

1. If your house or business has a fibre-to-the-node connection (which is how it’s being hooked up these days), it’s unlikely to be able to facilitate a download speed of 100 megabits Mbps.

2. And if you’re lucky enough to have a fibre-to-the-home connection (how it was rolled out in the initial stages), your retailer needs to have purchased enough capacity from the NBN to deliver those speeds, and that hasn't been happening.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
The ACCC will go after other retailers saying it is an industry-wide problem. And going forward, it wants checks in place to ensure broadband users are getting what they signed up for. Telstra has agreed to check the “attainable speed” four weeks after connection. However, the core issue remains. The NBN is failing in delivering a guaranteed, widely available, high-speed broadband network – even for those willing to pay for it. If you think you’re affected, you should contact Telstra who (it’s expected) will refund you some cash, extend your contract at no cost, or help you exit your contract with no penalty. And if you’re with Optus or another retailer – watch this space.


SQUIZ THE REST

DASTYARI IN RACIALLY-CHARGED PUB INCIDENT
A group calling themselves 'Patriot Blue' has filmed and posted a video to Facebook of members harassing prominent Iranian-born Labor senator Sam Dastyari in a Melbourne pub. It's ugly. A spokesman for Dastyari said this was the first time he’d been hassled like that in such a public way.

NO DEAL ON CITIZENSHIP SAGA… YET
PM Malcolm Turnbull and Labor leader Bill Shorten were unable to agree on a way through the MP citizenship cluster-disaster after two hours of talks yesterday. One thing they did agree on was the need to get it sorted by the end of the year. That means there might have to be extra days in Canberra before the end of the year to get it done, and that’s a real bummer for MPs. The key issue: your local member might miss the end of year school speech night/award ceremony/carols by candlelight. True story. Oh – and more MPs are under a Dehli smog-like cloud, most notably Tassie Senator Jacqui Lambie.

TRUMP WOWS SOUTH KOREA, BUT MISFIRES IN VIRGINIA
Before moving on to China yesterday, US President Donald Trump played to his South Korean crowd with a hard-line speech to its National Assembly on the threat posed by North Korea. In a direct message for the Hermit Kingdom’s leader Kim Jong Un, Trump said; “Do not underestimate us. And do not try us. We will defend our common spirit, our shared prosperity and our sacred liberty.” He received a standing ovation. North Korea’s response = [place hands over ears] “la la la la la”.

In a weird quirk of timing, it’s lucky Trump is not at home. His Republican party has been beaten in the most significant elections since the presidentials a year ago. This story of the election of a Virginian TV news anchor whose reporter girlfriend was gunned down on air is worth a read.

DREAMWORLD NOT A DREAM JOB FOR DEPARTING CEO
Ardent Leisure – the operator of Gold Coast theme park Dreamworld as well as Main Event Entertainment in the US (think video games/laser tag arcades) - has had a tough year. The tragic Thunder River Rapids ride incident in October 2016 claimed four lives. Since then, it said goodbye to its CEO Deborah Thomas, changed chairman and sold assets. And yesterday its new CEO Simon Kelly resigned just five months into the job. No one has given a reason for his departure. If you have an Australian Financial Review subscription, this is a great summary. The Dreamworld ride Tail Spin comes to mind...

PRENUP MIGHT NOT PROTECT YOUR VAST WEALTH
In a win for the upwardly mobile, the High Court yesterday delivered a landmark ruling on prenuptial agreements. The case related to a 36yo Eastern European woman who married an older Australian property developer and the agreement she was told she had to sign before the wedding. The court found the agreement was a result of unfair pressure and was therefore set aside. Lawyers said the decision would likely lead to others challenging their prenups. The floodgates are officially open…

BRACE FOR MORE SHOUTYNESS
Twitter has announced it will double the 140-character allowance per tweet. A small trial showed people in the 280-character test group started using the full allowance, but over time just 2% of tweets were more than 190 characters. It's a shame; we do love brevity.

RUSKI RETURNS WITH PETER CAREY’S NED KELLY
Fresh from his tweet-activism over Manus Island, Russell Crowe will play bushranger Harry Power in a film adaptation of Peter Carey’s Booker Prize-winning True History of the Kelly Gang. Up-and-comer George McKay (Captain Fantastic) takes on the role of Ned Kelly. Also involved is Miss Fisher’s Essie Davis as the Kelly Gang matriarch, Snowtown director Justin Kurzel, and some other good names. We’re looking forward to it. PS Haven’t read the book and want to get ahead of the pack? Buy it using this link (and many other titles on the Booktopia site) and we’ll get a little commission.

SQUIZ THE DAY

12.30pm (AEDT) - Journo and author George Megalogenis addresses the National Press Club on 'Sydney and Melbourne - why our two largest cities are getting too big for the national interest' - Canberra

2.30pm (AEDT) - Start of the Women's Ashes Cricket Day/Night Test Match - Australia v England - North Sydney Oval

PM Malcolm Turnbull travels to Vietnam for the APEC Leaders Summit (on until Sunday)

ABS Data Releases - Housing Finance, September; Public Sector Employment and Earnings, 2016-17

Melbourne Cup Carnival - Oaks Day

Remember if you open the email every day this week you go into the draw for a $100 Country Road voucher. As Woody Hayes says, you've got to paralyse resistance with persistence.

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