Squiz Today – Tuesday, 5 June

SQUIZ SAYINGS

“Vegemite Boost”

Boost Juice yesterday launched a new smoothie that its boss says consumers “may not have known they wanted, but undoubtedly deserve”. Clearly, we’ve all been very bad…

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COMM BANK TO COUGH UP

THE SQUIZ
The Commonwealth Bank, Oz’s biggest company, yesterday agreed to hand over $702.5 million to settle proceedings over its non-compliance with anti-money laundering/terror financing laws. The amount would be the largest civil penalty in our corporate history. But it could have been a lot more. Under the terms of this negotiated settlement, the fine amounts to $13,000 for each breach, not the maximum of $18 million.

I’VE ERASED THIS FROM MY MEMORY… WHAT THIS ABOUT?
The regulator AUSTRAC pursued Comm Bank for failing to notify it on 53,000+ occasions when cash amounts of $10,000 or more were deposited via intelligent ATMs – something the bank needed to do to help prevent the funding of criminal and terrorist activities. News of the case has hurt CBA’s share price. As of yesterday, its share price is more than 18% down on what it was at the start of August last year, and at least some of that is down to the cloud this matter cast of over the company.

WHAT’S UP NEXT?
The market looked favourably on the news that CBA wanted to settle the matter with its share price rising more than 1.5% yesterday. That might seem counter-intuitive, but it’s an indication that investors are happy that the uncertainty about what the palaver could cost CBA has almost been removed. And we say ‘almost’ because the court has to approve the settlement. Oh, hang on, you were saying you’re ready to move onto the next story? We missed that cue…

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SQUIZ THE REST

FURIOUS FUEGO
Guatemala's Fuego volcano has erupted killing more than 33 people and many more are missing. Toxic clouds were sent more than 9km into the air and hot lava spewed from the site as 3,100 residents were evacuated. Authorities estimate the eruption will ultimately affect more than 1.7 million people.

And Hawaii’s Kilauea volcano is now into its second month of mayhem. Further emergency evacuations were carried out over the weekend with residents in an isolated area cut off by lava.

CAKE BOSS WINS ON SAME-SEX WEDDING 
Do you recall something about a legal case in the US over a baker from Colorado refusing to provide a wedding cake for a same-sex marriage? Overnight, the Supreme Court ruled in favour of the baker. Specifically, it held that the Colorado Civil Rights Commission had not adequately taken into account the religious beliefs of baker Jack Phillips when it found in favour of the couple. But on future cases where services are withheld from same-sex weddings on grounds other than religion, the Supreme Court withheld its judgment. Clear as mud cake? Good.

WARM WEATHER GOOD FOR EATING, NOT FOR SHOPPING
Cast your mind back – did you find yourself eating out a bit more than usual during the mild weather in April? Restaurant and takeaway food saw the biggest increase in the latest retail sales numbers with a 1.3% increase. Overall, sales were up 0.4% which was a little bit better than expected. Department store and clothing/footwear sales were down. That’s a likely outcome of the warmer weather because a new coat/jumper/boots wasn't on your mind.

PLASTIC FANTASTIC
While we’re on the retail sector, our two biggest supermarket retailers – Coles and Woolworths – yesterday talked up their changes for good. Coles has set a 2020 target to halve food waste and make all packaging of own-brand products recyclable. And Woolies will remove plastic straws from sale by the end of this year and further reduce plastic wrapping of its fruit and vege. Plastic: it’s officially as popular as a TV show about former Deputy PM Barnaby Joyce’s home life.

STATE OF ORIGIN: YOUR WATER COOLER TALKING POINTS
Or look, you might actually be a huge rugby league fan – we’re here for everyone. The big news is that Queensland legend Billy Slater is out of tomorrow night’s opener of the Origin series. He’s got a gammy hammy. That’s on top of Cameron Smith, Johnathan Thurston and Cooper Cronk’s retirement from rep footy. If that’s all too much try; “Gee, the Maroons will be doing it tough.” That will get you through all sorts of situations today.

And while we have you… Serena Williams pulled out of last night’s French Open showdown with Maria Sharapova. She has a pectoral muscle injury and now has to hustle to be fit for Wimbledon. Was it our build up that jinxed her, do you think?

DANCING UNCLE
From zero to hero, India’s latest interweb sensation – Dancing Uncle – is joy personified. It’s a video of Sanjeev Srivastava, an Indian electronics professor, carving it up at a family wedding. And let’s face it – who doesn’t have a rellie who thinks they should be famous for their dance floor moves? If only they were as good as this bloke...

SQUIZ THE DAY

2.30pm - Reserve Bank announces its position on interest rates

ABS Data Releases - Balance of Payments and International Investment Position, March; Government Finance Statistics, Australia, March

World Environment Day

50th anniversary of the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy