If you like to get your smarty pants on from time to time, here’s a cracking opportunity. The Olympic Games start today, for Australia anyway. And when your nearest and dearest say “no, it starts on Friday, you nong,” you can follow up with “no, that’s the opening ceremony”. Then whack them with the following: our pitch for medals starts this morning. Leading the way are our softballers who face hometown heroes Japan, and tonight the Matildas are in action against arch-frenemies New Zealand in the women’s soccer. Somewhere in there, we’ll learn if Brisbane has won the one-horse race that is the bid for the 2032 Olympics. It’s so exciting you’ll want to jump all over your cardboard bed… A good look at the full schedule in Aussie time is here.