Squiz Today – Tuesday, 20 February

SQUIZ SAYINGS

“So @KFC have run out of chicken. This is how the apocalypse starts.”

Don’t be alarmed, dirty bird lovers. It’s the UK branch of the fast food chain that has closed half its stores after its new chicken delivery contractors didn’t deliver the goods. And people are not happy…

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CAPE TOWN ABOUT TO RUN OUT OF WATER

(Sorry, but we couldn’t face writing another lead story on Barnaby Joyce today. We’ll get to it later. Will you be able to forgive us? We thought so…)

THE SQUIZ
South Africa’s tourist hotspot Cape Town is in the grip of a water crisis.

• ‘Day Zero’ – the day they expect to totally run out of water from local supplies – is 4 June.

• The city’s water supply comes from dams that are filled by rainfall. And they are currently less than 25% full with the last 10% considered unsuitable for drinking.

• The city’s four million residents are on extreme water restrictions of 50 litres each a day.

• That's enough for a 90-second shower and one toilet flush a day, one load of washing a week, and daily cooking and drinking.

• The worst case scenario is the city hits ‘Day Zero’, has to turn off the taps forcing locals to line up at water collection points across the city.

HOW CAN A MAJOR CITY RUN OUT OF WATER?
There have been three years of drought on the nation’s south-west tip. But pundits say it’s a result of poor planning and political fighting across the levels of government. After being slow out of the blocks, Cape Town now has seven projects in the works including desalination plants, water recycling and drawing from an underground reservoir. But it’s unlikely any of these will help alleviate the current crisis.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
There’ll be a lot more ‘resilience’ building – the catchword of the crisis. And probably more argy-bargy at the political level. In the meantime, the council is publishing local water consumption data and is ‘encouraging’ residents to monitor their neighbours’ water use. A sort of dob-in-a-sprinkler program. But if you fancy doing a rain dance anytime soon, Cape Town would probably appreciate the support.

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SQUIZ THE REST

DON'T PANIC - HERE'S THE JOYCE SAGA UPDATE
Because you’ve waited so patiently, here it is:

• People said things… badly. An interview Michael McCormack did with Sky News yesterday (he’s the bloke people say could become the next leader of the Nationals) was ugly. He eventually said he supported his leader, Deputy PM Barnaby Joyce, but he lost quite a bit of bark in the process.

• People were supportive… eventually. Labor leader Bill Shorten said he wouldn’t remove the minister-staffer monkey-business ban if he becomes PM.

• People picked up… the phone. PM Malcolm Turnbull said his wife Lucy had given Joyce’s ex Natalie a bell. And Nationals party executives got on a conference call yesterday for a natter about things. The Financial Review this morning says their support for Joyce is waning.

• People were gracious… incredibly. This morning’s Daily Telegraph says Natalie Joyce has told friends she doesn’t want her ex to lose his job over the whole palaver.

• And people are cranky… even while on leave. An interview with Joyce in this morning's Sydney Morning Herald says he's going to fight on.

Who knows what fresh hell today will bring.

CRUZ CARERS SPEAK OUT
“Everything everybody seems to know, we didn’t know. It’s as simple as that.” The Snead family took accused Florida high school shooter Nikolas Cruz into their home after his mother died last November. They knew he had problems, but they were willing to help. And then he killed 17 people last week. This is an incredible insight into a very sad story.

NAB PUSHES ON WITH JOB CUTS
The National Australia Bank is cracking on with moving 1,000 people out of the business every six months for three years. It’s part of their ‘business transformation’ plan to cut layers of management and change their approach. That means they’ll also hire 2,000 tech/data type people to run new digital and artificial intelligence systems. For those exiting, NAB’s ‘People’ people say there’s ‘The Bridge’ to help them out…

RUSH DEFAMATION CASE KICKS OFF
Aussie Oscar winner Geoffrey Rush wasn’t in court for the premier of his defamation case against News Corp’s Daily Telegraph. Rush is taking on the media outlet over reports published late last year alleging he touched co-star Eryn Jean Norvill while on stage during the 2015 Sydney Theatre Company production of King Lear “in a way that made her feel uncomfortable”. Team Rush says it absolutely did not happen and the Tele used dubious sources and poor journalistic practices to damage the actor's reputation. News Corp says it received a legitimate complaint about Rush's behaviour and pursued it. Battlelines drawn, this is now set to play out in court.

KATE DEFIES THE BAFTAS BLACKOUT
Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, yesterday fell foul of some in the #metoo #itstime crowd by not wearing black to the BAFTA awards. The Royals are not a political bunch, but fashion historians said her green gown could actually have been a nod to the Suffragettes who wore green to represent hope. Onto the reason they gathered - it was Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri that owned the night taking out five awards, including best actress for Frances McDormand. The full winners' list is here. And here's the red carpet action.

FERGIE SLAYS THE ANTHEM
And not in a good way. The former Black Eyed Peas songstress had a shocker at a big NBL game (think US basketball) on Sunday night. Let’s just say: once heard, you can’t un-hear it. And just to be clear, you know we’re not talking about the Duchess of York, right?

SQUIZ THE DAY

ABS Data Release - Counts of Australian Businesses, including Entries and Exits, June 2013 to June 2017

Company Results Announcements - BHP; Seven West Media

UN World Day of Social Justice