Squiz Today – Tuesday, 28 May

SQUIZ SAYINGS

“It is getting very trendy at the moment to turn toilets into bars.”

Said one British resident who is concerned about the country’s disappearing public toilets. Health officials the world over are calling for more public loos, particularly for women who are already starting from behind with more urinals than cubicles in most facilities. So that's why the ladies have the queue...

---

EUROPEAN VOTERS MOVE AWAY FROM THE MIDDLE

THE SQUIZ
You know when you're bopping away in the middle of the dancefloor and the energetic bloke beside you lets go of a horrible smell and there's a clamour to get away to the edge of the room? That’s what the European Parliamentary elections have been like with voters walking away from parties positioned in the centre to support left and right-wing options.

UMM, OK…
To be more specific… The two big incumbent centre-aligned parties are the biggest losers in the election involving voters from 28 countries held over the last few days. Still able to manage to score 43% of the vote, the centre-right’s European People's Party (EPP) and centre-left’s Socialists and Democrats (S&D) have lost their combined majority. On the rise were right-wing nationalists (scoring about 15% of the seats), the Greens (about 10%), and Liberals (about 15%). And while anti-European Union elements made gains, pro-Europe parties will control about two-thirds of the parliament in the coming term.

SO WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

• Pundits say results are another example of more voters rejecting mainstream politics and supporting parties and personalities they feel reflect their values.

• The UK’s Brexit Party won there - and anti-Brexit parties also increased their vote. It was the major parties (the Conservatives and Labour) that went backwards.

• And being off-centre is not a recipe for success. Austrians voted to support the conservative-right party in the European election just as its national parliament moved to boot it out… Its youngest ever chancellor, 32yo Sebastian Kurz, and his People’s Party are reeling from a scandal involving the leader of his Coalition partner.

It’s hard work this governing business…

---

SQUIZ THE REST

---

ALBO AND MARLES ANOINTED

Incoming Labor leader Anthony Albanese yesterday said Aussies are suffering “conflict fatigue” and want “solutions, not arguments”. He’s not the first political leader vowing to do things differently (eg former PM Tony Abbott’s 2010 commitment to ”a kinder, gentler polity” comes to mind…), and he won't be the last. But he's committed to working with the Morrison Government to deliver constitutional recognition of Indigenous Australians and on a bipartisan approach to climate change. Albanese (and Labor’s new deputy leader, Victoria’s Richard Marles) will be confirmed in the role by Labor MPs on Thursday after a trip to Queensland starting tomorrow. Labor was ravaged by Queensland voters leaving them with no MPs north of the Brisbane River.

---

AUSTRALIAN MAN RESCUED ON EVEREST

Reports have not named him, but Chinese media has reported an Aussie was rescued on the Tibetian side of Mount Everest after he was found unconscious. He is in a Nepalese hospital recovering and is said to have improved from critical to a stable condition. More criticism has come from experienced climbers about the crowded conditions on the mountain with one calling it “a pressure cooker of danger”. Another Instagram'd that it was “everything you read in the sensational headlines” as climbers witnessed “Death. Carnage. Chaos. Lineups.”

---

PELL WON'T APPEAL SENTENCE

Or to put it more fully - if Cardinal George Pell does not win his appeal against his conviction for abusing two children in the 90s, he will not seek to have his sentenced reduced. Which means if his conviction isn’t chucked out, he will serve at least three years and eight months in jail as prescribed by the judge in March. Pell's legal team is expected to argue that reasonable doubt exists over his guilt given the jury took the word of one complainant against that of more than 20 witnesses. The hearing takes place mid-next week, and Pell is expected to attend.

---

MAN CHARGED IN HERRON KILLING

Henry Hammond, a 27yo father of two with no fixed address, appeared in a Melbourne Court yesterday and was remanded in custody after he was arrested for the murder of 25yo Courtney Herron in Parkville, Melbourne on Friday night. The court heard from Hammond’s lawyer that he possibly has autism and a "delusional disorder". Reports say the pair left a party in the city together on Friday night before she was found in a park close to the city on Saturday morning. The case will return to court in August.

---

PARASITE WINS TOP GONG AT CANNES

No, we don't mean the world's most prestigious film festival came down with a bug. Rather the Palme d'Or winning flick at this year's celluloid fest on the French Riviera was the evocatively-titled thriller Parasite by South Korean director, the evocatively named Bong Joon-ho. It was, according to critics, a return to form for the Cannes Film Festival. If you like an art-house flick or three, check out Vulture’s picks. And if you like a frock or 50, wrap your peepers around this red carpet gallery from the closing night on the Croisette.

---

CHIP PICKS

This so-called investigation into Australia’s best chips has it wrong. So very wrong. First because Burger Rings, Twisties and Cheezels have no place here, as awesome as they are. This is a potato-only zone… Second, there are two salt and vinegar varieties, and that's clearly a mistake. And third, Pringles are on the list. Puhleese, is 1992 calling looking for its tube back? And while we're OK with Smith's Original taking the #1 place, the lack of any BBQ, Chicken and a range of kettle-style chips has us calling for a stewards’ inquiry…

SQUIZ THE DAY

ABS Data Release - Cultural Activities, 2017-18

Ethiopia's National Day

Kylie Minogue's birthday (1968)