Squiz Today – Wednesday, 16 January

SQUIZ SAYINGS

"Asymmetric jeans”

Presumably made for people with asymmetric legs?

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JAYME CLOSS KIDNAP CASE SHOCKS AMERICA

THE SQUIZ
It’s the murder and kidnapping case that’s gripping America. Last Thursday, 13yo Jayme Closs escaped the rural Wisconsin house in which she had been held captive for almost three months after a man arrived on her doorstep, shot and killed her parents and kidnapped her. Details of the gruesome case emerged yesterday as her captor, 21yo Jake Patterson, faced court for the first time.

GEEZE…
Prosecutors allege:

• Patterson picked Jayme out after he saw her waiting for the school bus and was meticulous in arranging the kidnapping.

• In the early hours of 15 October, Patterson pulled up in the driveway of the Closs home and shot her father James through the front door. He then found Jayme and her mother Denise locked in the bathroom. After forcing the door, he bound Jayme's ankles and wrists and shot Denise. He dragged Jayme to the car and put her in the boot. Patterson said he was just 20 seconds away from the house when police arrived.

• Little has been revealed about Jayme’s time in captivity. But reports say she was forced to remain under his bed for up to 12 hours at a time when he was out or had people over.

• Last Thursday, Patterson told her he was going out and she got under the bed. After he left, Jayme put on a pair of his shoes, left the house and walked toward the road. A woman walking her dog found her and took her to the nearest home where they called the police.

• Some of the first words Patterson spoke when he was apprehended were “I did it”.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
Patterson’s first court appearance was yesterday - he's been charged with intentional homicide, kidnapping and armed burglary, and has not yet entered a plea. Reports say Jayme is with her extended family. The District Attorney yesterday said she was a brave girl. “At some point, she found it within herself, at 13 years old, to say, ‘I’m going to get myself out of this situation.’ It’s incredible.”

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SQUIZ THE REST

MILITANTS ATTACK KENYAN HOTEL
Somalia-based militant group al-Shabab has claimed responsibility for a terror attack on upmarket hotel DusitD2in Nairobi. There are few confirmed detail at this point, but reports say several people are dead. The attack started at 3pm local time (11pm AEDT) when gunmen stormed the building using explosives. "Armed criminals are holding up in the hotel, and specialist forces are currently flushing them out," police said. Kenya is a target for al-Shabab attacks because it supports the Somali government in its battle against the militant group.

MORRISON TAKES PACIFIC ISLAND SCHMOOZE
But it won’t be cocktails and bingo (you’d have to guess)… First stop is Vanuatu today where Scott Morrison will be the first Aussie prime minister to visit the Pacific island nation in 30 years. Fair dinkum. Then it’s onto Fiji where an argument about the citizenship status of terrorist Neil Prakash could have Morrison squaring off against Fiji PM Frank Bainimarama Tomic/Hewitt style. Morrison said the trip reflected a “refocus of our international efforts on our own region”. Did someone say 'China'? The PM will be home in time for Saturday’s curry night with the family.

OPAL TOWER SOUND, BUT RESIDENTS STILL IN LIMBO
The apartment block in Sydney’s Homebush requires "significant rectification works" to repair the building, two independent experts said in their interim report to the NSW Government. They're recommending residents don't move back in until independent engineers have a good look around. All the work that has to be done will take "many weeks'. Which if you've built a home or done a reno, you know that probably means many months… Some residents have already returned while the apartment owners rep said many don’t want to move back in until the work is complete.

DOWN ON THE RIVER
The clean up of the Darling River near Menindee in far western NSW started yesterday after a large fish kill was discovered last week. Thousands upon thousands of fish were found dead and rotting along a 40km stretch of the river after a toxic blue-green algae outbreak died in cool weather, starving the water, and therefore fish, of oxygen. Some have blamed poor management of the Murray-Darling river system. Government agencies and others say it's in large part due to the drought not providing enough water to flush the river system. Meanwhile, widespread reports yesterday of a fish kill in Albury/Wodonga’s Hume Weir were dismissed as ‘greatly exaggerated’.

VALE CHANNING
Broadway icon and Hollywood mainstay Carol Channing has died at 97yo. She was well known for her years-long/award-winning turns in the original theatre productions Hello, Dolly! and Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. She was devastated when she was overlooked for both roles (Barbra Streisand got the lead in Dolly, Marilyn Monroe in Gentlemen) when they made it to the silver screen. That didn’t stop her from succeeding in film - she was nominated for an Oscar for Thoroughly Modern Millie in 1967. Accepting an award in the 90s, she said; “Achievement, apparently, is doing exactly what you want.”

GOING VIRAL
THE GENDER POLITICS AD - In the era of #metoo and Time’s Up, men’s razor brand Gillette has asked the question: “Is this the best a man can get?” Released on social media, this ad has caused the stir they were probably aiming for…

THE HAPPY GYMNAST - The American college athlete has sparked joy with a routinethat earned her a 10. Her backstory is pretty interesting too.

THE NICE DUCK - Remember New York's fancy Mandarin duck that took up residence in Central Park? We now have the Aussie equivalent… Behold the rare tufted duck that's arrived at Melbourne's Werribee sewerage works. Same same.

SQUIZ THE DAY

7.00am (AEDT) - UK parliamentarians vote on PM Theresa May's Brexit deal

ABS Data Release - Building Approvals, November

Anniversary of the US announcing the start of Operation Desert Storm to drive Iraqi forces out of Kuwait (1991)

Anniversary of the death of Australian photographer Frank Hurley (1962). Fascinating bloke.